Dramatis Personnae

"Did you really build that?" 

"Apparently so."
"Why?"
"I have no idea.

I’ve been reading all my previous entries in my log here. Until today, I haven’t posted much for a year or more, and some of the upsets that I thought were so life-changing at the time feel like water under the bridge. That’s good, I suppose – that’s progress. I have even made tentative peace with people I never thought I’d be able to be at peace with, whilst at the same time failing with others.  Despite one’s best efforts, some people prefer to be at enmity. Some people as well, necessitate boundaries to be drawn, and I’m learning to do that in a way that protects me but doesn’t hurt others. 

This personal log has been an ideal outlet for me to release all my feelings of anger and fury and frustration and pain that I found so hard to deal with, and couldn’t express in real life. I’ve found that bottling it up inside me is very harmful, and I need to get it all off my chest one way or another.

Now my overwhelming emotion is grief and loss of another kind.  It all seems to be part of the over-arching theme of mid-life-crisis, of growing older and not really wanting to let go because, actually, I’m still a teenager inside.

For information on the Dramatis Personnae, see this entry: http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D758119&entry=10004&mode=date