Finally left my abusive marriage

It’s been 12 years. I’ve left before, always took him back. This time, it went absolutely too far. Not to say it didn’t in the past, but, he showed me that he actually wants and is actively seeking my death. He is out of me and my children’s lives for now. I have a restraining order on him and we are currently safe.

Was this the reason for my never ending depression? Yes. Yes it absolutely was. The biggest weight in the world was lifted off my shoulders the minute I drove away from the house with the kids safely in the vehicle with me. I knew it was the right thing and there is no, nor never will be a need, to go back. I actually feel strong enough to make it this time. I’m not as scared as the last times I left. I don’t feel the guilt and fear. I’m done. I won’t let him continue to hurt me any longer. The only feeling I have left for him is pity and a hope that someday he will wake up and change. But, I doubt that day will ever come.

I am alive again.