Alone
I am completely alone. I have nothing left to give. I am a broken person and everything that I once was has fled from me. I am nothing. I will not be here much longer.
I am completely alone. I have nothing left to give. I am a broken person and everything that I once was has fled from me. I am nothing. I will not be here much longer.
Don't have a membership? Sign up.
If you had a diary on old Open Diary, you must go through the reclaim process before you can log in. Reclaim your diary.
Please don’t believe that. I know with depression it’s way too easy to let the negative thoughts become what you truly believe but you’re not alone. People do care. It’s just often we suck at letting others know we care because we get too caught up in dealing with our own BS. Trust me if you were not here someone out there would be destroyed by that. Someone would believe they had failed you and constantly look back at what signs they missed to be there for you and blame themselves for not seeing them sooner. I know because despite the fact it’s been well over 20 years I still feel that way about a friend who took his life. I still blame myself for not doing more even when I know people with depression can hide the hell out of it to the point they seem fine when inside they are breaking down. Find someone to talk to and get help. How you’re feeling is the depression talking. I’ve been in that darkness myself many times. I hope you find the way through it and get back to realizing you’re not alone and do offer this world a lot.
@quietdragon I have been hearing all of this for over 10 years. It has only gotten worse. When does it get better?
@lessajessa I don’t know your situation, but if you haven’t I would consider getting help. It took me a long time to realize I couldn’t deal with my depression alone and needed outside help to get myself to a better spot. Do I still battle depression at times? I do and I always will but that help allowed me to understand my depression better and learn how to deal with it so that it isn’t worse and I can get through those darker times a lot easier. I know some people will think asking for help is weakness but it’s the complete opposite. It takes a lot to go “I’m not okay and need help”.
That help I got made it a lot better for me. I’ve learned how to realize when my thoughts are depression and when a funk is hitting so that I can avoid doing things that feed into it and make it worse. I will admit even for a while I did take meds which I get some people are against but for me I needed them because the reality is for some of us our brains just don’t make chemicals we need to avoid feeling this way and such. But I do hope you find that help (whether it’s someone or something) that helps you to get through the bad times and able to enjoy the good times more.
Warning Comment
I know this doesn’t help right now, but this pain is only temporary. Even if temporary means years, rather than weeks. The happy days that are in your future will be worth all of the suffering and pain you are experiencing now. Some things that have helped me are reading my bible, praying on verses and promises from God, and trying to grow closer to Him.
There is no way of telling when we will get better, but you have to believe me when I say that there are so many people who love you. Depression tricks our brains into thinking that there aren’t, that we are worthless, and that the pain we feel is too much for us to carry. But, those are all lies. I remember when I had my first thought of suicide. I had never felt so deeply in pain in my life. And it wasn’t even physical pain, it was emotional pain (which I think is worse). I would go days thinking it, come out of it for awhile, and then it seemed like there was always something that set me off and put me back into that depression and thinking that I would be better off not here. BUT, I’ve started going to counseling and it has helped a lot. My sister found great relief through a counseling and medicine combination.
I guess my point to this is please don’t give up. Give yourself more time to be on this Earth. Please. I want you here. Do whatever it takes to keep living. You are resilient and can overcome this, even when it feels like the absolute opposite.
Warning Comment