Asking for advice

So…. I have a boyfriend that I live with. We live with his dad. I’ve been living here for almost five years and over time everything has gotten worst. Not between me and my boyfriend, but me and his dad. About two or three years ago his dad admitted to me that he was in love with me and that he wanted to be with me intimately. I immediately became uncomfortable around him. I didn’t want to tell my boyfriend because I didn’t want to cause problems between me and him. Last year, me and my boyfriend got into a really bad fight and I moved out. I stayed with a girl that lived across the street. She let me live at her apartment for free if I agreed to watch her kids at night when she went to work. So, I did. But she kicked me out about a month later because I was doing tattoos at 3 am while her kids slept. I managed to stay with some friends during the summer, but little did I know that it would scar me for life. I started “dating” this dude named Tyler. I stayed at his house with three of my other friends. When me and Tyler started “dating” he began to get weird. He wouldn’t give me attention anymore or even hangout with me in the group. He would ignore me like I was nothing. I was used to being ignored. We started doing drugs and going to parties as a group. I pressed charges against my current boyfriends dad because I felt unsafe around him. He would follow me and stalk me every time I went somewhere. He would tell me that nobody would ever have my back like he does and that I’ll never be loved the same way. But I ended up getting a restraining order against him. Beginning of May, we went to court and I dropped the charges against him. At the end of May, last year, I found out I was pregnant with Tyler’s kid. He was happy at first, but as the time went on he wanted me to get an abortion… I ended up breaking up with me because he was cheating on me with his neighbor and who knows else. I was crushed having some fuck ups kid inside of me but happy to have another life to share. I moved back in with my mom and started talking to my boyfriend (Matt) about what had happened because I knew he still loved me and would support my decisions. I asked him if I could come over to hangout with him and catch up. After 6 months of not seeing him, it felt like butterflies in my stomach. I missed him so much it kind of hurt. I waited for the perfect time to tell him I was pregnant. Me and him were outside and I found my opportunity. I looked at him and said, “I have something to tell you, I’m pregnant and it’s not yours.” I started to cry as he looked at me with this disappointing look. He still loved me and wanted to be there for me no matter what. His dad still made me uncomfortable, but I dealt with it because of my love for Matt. I ended up having a miscarriage in June. But anyways, back in September a few days before me and Matts 4 year anniversary, he went to North Carolina to visit his mom. The second night Matt was gone his dad started becoming very handsy. He’d try to touch me and would tell me that it would be our secret. Around 3 pm, he tried to hold me down and eat me out. I pushed him away and immediately told my boyfriend. I’ve stressed about it ever since. Later that night, me and Matt were on Facetime when his dad came downstairs and started complaining about how I wouldn’t let him have his way with me and that I needed to get over it. Matt heard everything his dad was saying about him and me. I waited for my boyfriend to come back home. His dad hid upstairs for days. I’ve been scared to do anything for months. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I love my boyfriend to death, but I cannot keep living the way I do. Lately, I’ve been wanting to commit suicide but I don’t want to hurt him or my mom. His dad doesn’t understand that I don’t love him the way he expects. I want to start over but I’m scared of change without my boyfriend. His dad’s threatened to kick me out multiple times since I’ve moved back in because he gets mad over me and his sons relationship. He always tries to say that Matt doesn’t do anything for me when he does and that Matt isn’t the man that he is. It’s sick… I’m over being put down all the time over his dad. His dad tells me all the time that he could make me feel like a women, but I am a women. I feel like if I move out it would fix the situation but it would ruin my life. I’d be homeless. I have no friends to live with and my moms homeless too. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m tired of living in constant fear. Does anyone know what I should do? I could use the advice.