CALMING SONGS

Hey look. You’re in control. You can break me right now, just click the words down the bottom of the entry that say ‘Send me a note’. I’m like an egg. Lookin tough but so easy to break. So break me. Come on, I dare you to try your hardest. It might be fun to see how low I can get. Maybe if you did I would kill myself and that would be the end of my fucked up attention seeking mind. They always say there’s a positive to every negative situation.

Anyway so I’m sitting here in the freezing cold. Everyone’s inside, I wanted to get away frm them so I’m listening to my ‘calming’ song (you know those songs that just calm you down instantly and let you think clearly…). I’m thinking if I can just get lost in this song I can feel warm. Like I’m wrapped up in a fluffy blanket with musical notes surrounding me and filling the air with sunlight. Haha. Calming songs make me think crazy like that. Every now and then I get a new one. They just pop up out of nowhere and I love them straight away cuz they make me feel like I’m high the first few times I listen to them. It’s mostly cuz the lyrics in them can be interpreted so that they match my life so perfectly that they make me beleive that someone out there feels just the same as me, and maybe they’re happy now. Maybe I’ve got choices. Maybe it’s all me, and I could get my way out of this sht if I wanted to.

• ‘Parachutes’ by Guster
• ‘Changes’ by Three Doors Down
• ‘Trouble’ by Coldplay
• ‘It’s Too Late’ by Evermore
• ‘You Know Your Right’ by Nirvana
• ‘Should I Go’ by Brandy
• ‘Breakdown’ by Mariah Carey & Bone Thugs N Harmony
• ‘Clocks’ by Coldplay

At one point or another these were all my calming songs. They made me cry they made me cut and above all they made me think. They let all my thoughts come out clearly. The minute I decide to kill myself I know I will be listening to a calming song. Not that I’m going to kill myself…