IN A CYCLE

Its the middle of the night. i just woke up with a blood stained top and the scizzors on the floor. i must’ve fallen asleep cutting. thank god nobody came in. they would have got a surprise.

i feel like such a loser. i don’t know why. when i’m talking to people, i get embarassed cause i feel like they’re thinking about how annoying i am. totally unsubstantiated. these thoughts are probably making people think im a weirdo ’cause i’m so quiet because of it – i start conversations and then walk away from them. haha.

i dont want to change this right now. do i have to? can i wait for a little while longer before i try to get out of the cycle i got myself into? its all downhill from here. i think i want somebody to notice. maybe. but i’m not the type to help it happen. never have been. asking for help is the hardest thing to do. i can get by pretty easy without it.

– **LIZzY**

lilmissaj81

July 27, 2005

i’m so sorry..

Its definately a hard cycle to stop thats for sure. And sometimes the one thing you need is for someone to notice just to know that someone in this world cares. But if you dont want to make the change yet no one is going to be able to force you. Changes come with time. Im here if you ever need to talk.

wow you sound so much like me. But trust me when you do get out its just as great. I was in that cycle forever. I mean FOREVER! then my friends reminded me how great it was to just have fun. Well nobody will make you get out its your choice completly its just fun to know you can smile an stop thinking to much. Trust me when i say it gets you nowhere but down.

Smiling Princess

You know if I were your perent I’d hide anything sharp from you. No, maybey I’d do more than that I might even throw them out. Listen I know (I have known so many people with problems like yours) cutting dosn’t help. All it dose is make the problem worse. Evrey time you cut you bring back up the bad thoughts and you would be suprised how much thoughts and words alone influence us. Why not try…

thinking and telling your self good thoughts. I’m probly getting anoying now arn’t I? any way, alwyas yours a concerned sole,

lostfound

Getting out of cycle or like breaking a habit it’s tough. Believe me I know. Well good luck on writing and good for you nobody walk in. Big surprise for them thats for sure. bye. :^)

~*Kaleigh*~

yeah im kinda like that to. it takes me a while to get comfortable around someone. when im talking to my friends ..and when they are looking at me i feel like they are thinking im a complete idiot! so thats why im so shy or quiet. i care what others think of me. im not that confident i guess..o well. anyways…how did u cut in ur sleep, thats scary! yeah luckily nobody walked in! hehe. -later-

CT_watchmebleed

August 1, 2005

wow…you and I are having some simliar problems…i.e. cutting and stuff…it’s scary and I don’t think mine is advanced as yours but I’m adding you to my favs so i can leave you notes to ENCOURAGE YOU to please try to stop. I’m trying too….peer support kinda. I liked the Ice on the wrist trick. It helps some. thanks for the note…good idea. Stay strong.

unfold_me

August 9, 2005

woah, reading this sounds so much like myself at times. This is just a random note, but I’m adding you to my favorite if you dont mind and I want you to know that even though I’m a stranger, I can relate and I truely hope you can get better. Please Take Care.