*WHERE DID I GO WRONG?*
Where did I go wrong? Everything was so perfect, then I started to screw it up, but how? I don’t remember an exact point in time. But now my parents hate me, and I can’t think straight. What happened to everything?
I don’t know where to go, or who to turn to. There’s nobody to trust because what I would be trusting them with is too big. It’s who I am. I’m the f*cking face of stability. What the f*ck have I done to myself?
So from tomorrow I’m going to pretend better. Pretend better to myself. This diary is over, cause all I write in it is my real feelings, and I can’t stop thinking about them if I’m writing them down here to be analysed! Actually sometimes even in this diary I pretended. Often infact. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I was an internet fake aswell, pretending to be happy even to people who I don’t even know. I’m sorry for being cyber fake all these entries (the first few were real though I think).
I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. Maybe I need help to sort myself out. But I’m never gonna get it ’cause I’ll always be pretending to be okay. F*ck I’m screwed.
Please give me advice. Please don’t say anything mean, keep it to yourself. I don’t wanna know what anyone thinks, I know I’ve been acting pathetic. Sh*t I’m crazy. I think I need advice. I don’t know though. F*ck I just don’t know. I feel like I’m at a dead end. But I’m probably not gonna turn around.
To turn around is all that will help. try it. get some help and don’t lie to people that want to help u. people can’t help you if you lie to them.
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^^ Agreed, you should talk to someone about how you feel, a counsellor who you don’t have to pretend with, who won’t judge you and has the job to help you properly. Only you can make it better and only you can stop lying and stop running from how you feel. Take care x
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ryn means reply to your note. lol. Yea but south park didnt exactly show the true colors just the half part most thing. I cant really tell you how many cause its impossible to count them all. Mainly most crips dont stand up and state they are one. Iono but thanks Im glad i intrest you. Sorry havent been on in awhile my mother cut the internet on me. Oh well I got a phrase for you to think about
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“Keep your head up even when times are hard never give up” It works if you believe in yourself. Strong people handle everything just dont give into temtations or presure of the world trust me if i can make it through my family falling apart you can to. Peace ttyl Playgirl aka(also known as) Grace
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Don’t pretend…it will all blow up later and be so much worse for having been suppressed. Try to find someone you can trust…a school counsellor, your parents, a friend…someone who can stand with you and help you not be alone. I’ve tried pretending too, and it really doesn’t fix things.
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found u on the diary circle…it always seems like ur parents hate u ….n if in my case where they hit u and really do hate you …then u just have to be better then them …ignore what they say and try to keep ur head up
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