Problem With Self (Anxiety)

Good evening, Recently I’ve been going threw a major storm of anxiety.  Apart of its infecting my life and my relationship including; family, friends, even my boyfriend. I tend to distance myself from anything that is negative or makes me feel in any way uncomfortable, i came on here today to express to people how I’ve been feeling, knowing that I have people in my life that I can express it but scared that they just don’t truly “listen” to the things I say. I mean I’ve tried, like actually expressed it to my mom’s, boyfriend even my dog knows lol. having anxiety is like being stuck in your past trauma. I constantly second guessing myself. keeps you worried about anything everything, including things that’s not even something to worry about, including something that’s happened years ago that’s already been done and handled. One of the worse parts of it all that it makes you feel out of this world looking in, like your not your self and separates you from your body. Making you feel like your not even human. This year has truly been a roller coaster for me with my emotions, I’ve had about 10 or so panic attracts maybe even more then I’ve had in my whole life. I use to smoke a lot last year and a little bit this year, but now it gives me anxiety so, I had to quite. Now every time I try to smoke I get scared and start to shake, which then creates me to panic. makes me kind of sad bc man was I a stoner and I loved it so much id do it every single day. I miss feeling ok. I miss feeling that everything in the world is going to be okay. now I judge myself more then ever. I keep myself feeling sad, anxious , and wondering what’s wrong with me. when really there isn’t anything wrong. My mom suggested that I go see a doctor for it, I want to but I’m scared to face it. I know I probably should so I can be happy with myself again, I guess I’m just waiting for a day to snap out of it. I guess reality will catch up with me some day.

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