About damn time

Finally had another therapy sesh- VERY overdue. I feel like my head is back on straight. I got to talk about my “meltdown” a few weeks ago, and came to the conclusion that my stress management still needs work. Also that I was probably OVERLY over stimulated, as  the whole thing with my ex violating my space so intensely was weighing on me already, and I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, so there was no way for me to express that I was feeling a certain way, and that everything was happening all at once and so quickly that I snapped. Not that it’s right, but yea- she’s right. I didn’t talk to anyone about my ex and I needed to. Why didn’t I? I felt like 1. My friends would have just told me how fucking dumb I was in the first place, 2. I didn’t want to bother anyone. 3. I felt like if I talked about it, I was just going to get more uncomfortable with the situation, would have gotten more pissed off at him, would have gotten more pissed off at myself, and would have had a harder time pushing it out of my head. So I kept it to myself and told nobody. Then with the deliveries, my mom, my daughter, etc… everyone blowing up my phone all day for 3 days straight with issues, I broke.

Im not proud of it, but I’m proud of moving past it, and happy I finally got to talk about it, and figure it out in therapy.

Now I know for next time I’m overwhelmed and trying to ignore it. But need to address shit as it comes up.

Now for the daunting task of buying another car and getting back up on my feet.