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22. Tired.

October 27, 2021
I was thinking today about how tiring it is to be continuously trying so hard to keep making myself better, constantly thinking about the whys and the how’s and the when’s and what’s and who’s… the planning, strategizing… all of the writing and thinking and stressing and more thinking. I decided ...
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Recent Entries

  • 21. How it’s going
    October 26, 2021
    So I’m noticing something. In the beginning of all of this, I wanted to share every little step I was taking. Every little step felt huge to me, and I was proud of myself for it, even if I couldn’t outwardly admit that. These little positives and such- that was huge to me, but when…
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  • 20. My silly stupid dreams
    October 21, 2021
      had this dream last night that’s stuck with me all day about this HUGE white snake. It was pretty docile but everyone was afraid of it. I was trying to get closer to it to take its picture for Instagram lol. Before I woke up, a friend of mine popped up in my dream…
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  • 19. Past few days
    October 12, 2021
    yesterday… my positive was that despite having an awful day, I did what I needed to do and got through it. Also “gave up” on a lot, in the interest of self preservation and protecting myself. Then some insight was given to me by a certain person and I bounced back. my goal was to…
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  • 18. Two days
    October 10, 2021
    I actually did start writing yesterday but got sidetracked and never finished. Yesterday’s positive was that I did a little bit of cleaning that I needed to do… which was also my goal lol I also saw my dogs!! Well, my moms dogs. Zoe and Ziggy. I missed them so much. I even got to…
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  • 17. Today’s stuff
    October 8, 2021
    I did go to bed at a more reasonable hour than I have been lately last night. Todays goal is to hustle!! my positive for today is… while my daughter might not see it now, I think I’m a cool mom. I’m not a perfect mom and I fuck up a lot, and get burnt…
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  • 16. Staying consistent with positives
    October 7, 2021
    Today’s “positive”…. Good deeds. I actually feel good about some good deeds I’ve done for people anonymously. There’s a couple dynamics to that. It feels good to do things for people, and it also feels good that I don’t go bragging about it it’s creation. Even though it kind of feels good to also...
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  • 15. Updates and what not
    October 7, 2021
    Had a SUPER productive therapy sesh today. Feeling pretty good about it. Ya know how I started doing that positive thing a day thing because of some stuff on a mental health message board? Welllllp I haven’t been doing it. I couldn’t think of things so it’d get kinda tiring to try to think of&hel...
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  • 14. More good stuff
    September 26, 2021
    yesterday I was missing my ex pretty hard…. I hate calling him an ex. I feel like it’s got such a negative connotation. Usually when someone’s talking about an ex it’s a bad thing. Maybe because most of my exes are fucktards and generally horrible people that I associate that with something so ne...
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  • 13. Good stuff
    September 22, 2021
    Had an awesome session with my therapist, talked to him about the thing with my daughter and he not only made me feel a lot better but helped shed some light on some things pertaining to that. This may have been my most productive session yet- all therapists included. Talked about my moods, my in...
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