Today I feel… lost and uncertain of where I outa to go
I know where my sister goes, and where she stays
I know where my mother goes, and where she stays
but I feel… lost.
25 to turn 26 this year
Never a man have I known thus never to a broken heart have I wept for.
Never a car driven, nor smashed, nor bent of.
Never a mile out of the known city, never on my own….
Chances were given to me when I was 15 youths younger
but… so “wise” that I said no to all of them.
Now I observe my Sister 27 – a teacher, for 15 youths ago
day by day she said yes to practicing the piano….
Yes to knowledge, yes to learning, yes yes yes.
while I was outside saying yes to the woods calling me.

It is the now that I have reaped what I had sown…
and yet,
even now I sow,  but cannot reap.
For some will say of me,
I am still young.
Yesterday I was in youth
Today, I am in my prime.
tomorrow, I am one day in passing.
What like a flower or a shred of grass, to bloom by sun light
and shed by dusk, that her petals, the moon will not shed light upon again.

Time, she will tell me when I can reap.
Until then, still I am lost…. I pray, God… where do I go?
this path is narrow but sooo many ways to go
What do YOU want me to do?

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April 3, 2024

Life is uncertain at best, and the answers are only obtained through trial and error. We can gather as much advice or observe as much in others failures as we’d like, but in the end, experience is our only teacher in life. Let your spirit be your guide. Forget the past. Live in the now. It’s all we have, in the end.