Forgiving

It is time for this I think. To write about this here.

See, there are three causes for someone to hurt another person. Not motives or a lot of other stuff; causes. Three things that enable a person to harm another person. I mentioned this before. Once you sort of diagnose one of these issues, it helps you to view an offense and its perpetrator in a different light, which is very helpful in the process of forgiveness, which is extremely helpful in living a reasonably happy life. Which is what I am all about …

The first cause is stupidity. This means that the person who has hurt you has done so because s/he is incapable of knowing any better. This, of course, is the easiest to forgive; easiest to let go of. Nowhere to go here; just sigh, and be aware that this is a hopeless situation.

The second cause is ignorance, and automatically you are called on to make a greater effort than with the first cause. First, you must discern the ability to know better; then you must decide whether it is worth your while to enlighten this person. If not, it is nearly as simple as cause one: walk away and let go. If it is worth your time or in your nature to edify and enlighten, obviously you must stick around at least long enough to leave the poor soul with more knowledge than s/he had before. And if the person is teachable, you might even be able to make a go of it!

The third is quite the most difficult: emotional disease (or dis-ease depending on how you like to break up words). For starters, this one is rather sneaky, and can appear at first as one of the above two causes; however, once you have ascertained that in fact it is emotional, you must do a lot of work. First you have to stare down your own emotional disease; and considering that you have just been on the receiving end of something needing forgiveness, this can take a very long time indeed. Here’s the good part though: you are not obligated to wade in the muck of this person’s illness. All you have to do is recognize it. Then you need to pray and/or meditate and/or scream, cry, work through the damage. Then … glance back over your shoulder at the diseased individual; wave goodbye; and travel on.