Fed Up
Last night I pointed out how long it had been since we had sex, & JT said it was because he was trying to teach me a lesson. (He hates that I let Jasper in the house at night & when I’m gone because Jasper shits/pisses all over the place.) My dog’s safety isn’t something I intend to forgo in favor of sex. Plus he shouldn’t make me choose or try to teach “lessons.” That’s why this morning as I made breakfast I (playfully, yet truthfully) informed him that perhaps my new guy will have a better sex drive. I think he got offended because he joked he could just leave…something he’s done twice before. Little does he know that he the next time he actually leaves, his ass definitely won’t be allowed back. Hell, I don’t like playing his games & it’s making me so goddamn frustrated that as soon as he left to run some errands, I started crying before he even turned the corner of the house. One of my coworkers had an emergency so I covered her shift which meant I have to work from 4pm-5am (woulda been to 7am but they thought that might be too rough on me TW will cover the other 2 hrs). Since I didn’t want him to worry, I texted him three times to let him know, & he never responded…though I’m sure he had time to watch losers play video games they posted online.
He keeps saying I spend too much money on pet food ($60/week), yet he has no problem $80/week on fast food. Plus he drinks 100+/- sodas every week, & his truck is a damn gas-guzzler. His weekly paycheck barely lasts til Tuesday, yet I still have over half of my last paycheck which I got on Sept 14th. Also, I’m not in debt to anyone for anything, so he sure as hell has no fucking right to ridicule MY finances. One thing is for certain is that I don’t actually need him. I’m the one who does all the cooking, cleaning, & money-making…he doesn’t do shit except go to work, & then eat, watch tv, & take naps. Relationships are supposed to be 50/50, not 98/2. And my pets are my babies; they’re the only family I have so I’m not gonna give them away or abandon them for some guy. (THAT is non-negotiable.)
I don’t know if he’s completely oblivious as to how his treatment hurts me, or if he just doesn’t care. But I’m sick of it. He can still make me laugh, I still sleep better when he’s cuddled up to me, & we click so well mentally; but he ho longer turns me on, he’s never gonna give me children at this point, & he only thinks of “now” (not the “future”). And I get insulted & belittled by damn near everybody…I don’t need him doing so too. I hate to admit it, but I may have to cut my losses. This isn’t something I’m gonna do on impulse, so I have some serious contemplating to do…😔