Guide to being the perfect wife

Here are 12 important rules:

1. Don’t speak your opinion. He doesn’t want to hear your side.

2. Agree with whatever he says. Even if he is hurting your feelings. Even if he is wrong.

3. Do not stay up too late or sleep in to late. He doesn’t like that. He just doesn’t.

4. Do not be sitting in your favorite spot too often. He notices, and that makes you lazy.

5. Always be sure to be actively doing something when he comes home or walks in the room.

6. If there is an argument, do not defend yourself. Tell him he is right. It will make it go by faster and he will be nicer the next day.

7. Do the dishes, wash the clothes, feed the kids, get the groceries, sweep/mop/vacuum regularly. He shouldn’t be having to do these things you see- he works very hard.

8. When he gets home from work, start him a bath, make him a plate, and talk to him sweetly. This will keep his mood up.

9. Don’t talk to much about a topic.  No matter how passionate. Make sure he hears your voice as little as possible.

10. Only speak to him in a meek tone.

11. Do not communicate your needs. It’s your fault and all of it can be fixed if you listen to him instead.

12. Make sure to smile. He likes a smile. Resting your face makes him feel insecure.