Jeremiah warned of the destruction that would be poured out on Judah. He writes about G-d’s hard dispense of holy anger. At one point G-d says, “I will not listen when they call to Me because of their disaster” (12:14). A lot of the wickedness that angered God was the constant worship of false idols and gods, and the sacrifices they were burning to them.
In Biblical times they believed that all disasters that they faced was G-d’s punishment for the wrongs they were doing. This week in Tuesday’s Jewish Studies class, my Rabbi told us that he doesn’t believe that G-d punishes us and that the natural disasters and hardships we endure are some acts of man and because of the scientific and geological reasons that man has studied.
Tonight we read a writing that was created by the Prophet Jeremiah; where he explains seeing the destruction of the temple and fall of the Jews for failing G-d.
I questioned my Rabbi about how he can believe that G-d doesn’t punish us when we do wrong?
During the Tisha B’Av gathering tonight I did some thinking and in my head I kept referencing G-d as our Father. I kept thinking how a Father punishes there child when they go against his teachings or betray him or just act wrongly. Now me believing that what we as humans have seen and managed to overcome and many have falling for and of is because of G-d is horrible to consider, but on the same thought I do believe that after we survive all that and live on we sometimes learn and change our ways and lives because of the pain we felt from that experience.
This Tisha B’Av; I am not quite living up to everything that I said I would do over the next +- 24 hours, but I am taking a moment to look back at all the wrong and pain that has been felt in my life, and I am thinking of how I can learn from it and make the change.
A few years ago, well just over 17 years ago my life nearly came to end. Someone else’s reckless behavior nearly resulted in the end of my life. I remember how when I finally came through and reached a sane point in my recovery I made a few pledges to myself and G-d. Pledges that I have yet to fully achieve.
- Convert to Judaism
- Make my Life Meaningful
- Complete my Educational Studies/Get a Degree/Diploma
Even though throughout the years I have gone back and forth with my studies, I have yet to put an educational title to my name.
A reached a decision when I was about 19 not to convert because I figured I would adopt my future husband’s religion and beliefs. Well that never felt right, no matter how hard I tried. I went to Church often, many times on my own. I got Baptized. I joined a few Christian Groups and even did a Course with Hillsong. But in the end I never felt whole with Christianity and so I find myself really taking on this new journey and by my own choice Converting to Judaism. But as much as I try, I know I can be doing more, and so if I take anything away from tonight; it is going to be to put more effort into my conversion and teachings and make it more than just 2 classes every week and Shabbat Services and My Writings.
I want more of my life and of myself. I cannot do that by just being thin or by just being Jewish. And so once I have converted I need to complete the pledges I have made for myself and I need to complete my studies. I know I am closing in on 40 and there are so many other things that I want to do, but I need to have a title to my name, I need to be Jewish and I need to make my living and not dying in that accident meaningful.