אני קושית יפה/I’m a Cute Black Girl Pg 104

Today, I went to shul. I really felt the need to be in G-d’s house and be surrounded with warmth. The murder of the two Bibas boys has really got to me. I don’t know how any human can actually kill a child. And to think that they were strangled to death. So someone actually used their bare hands to kill them and watched them take their last breathe. Apparently this was done some time in November 2023, so I guess it is comforting to know that they hadn’t suffered through the last 500+ days.

 I am wondering about that video that was going around some time ago of a bunch of Palestinian kids marching around and one carrying an orange haired boy, while another orange haired boy was walking behind him. 

Since the very start of this war in the various shuls have been posters of the hostages…and of course whenever one was rescued or released, their poster was brought down. In my shul the posters of Ariel and Kfir were up…while I was making announcements in shul tonight and I looked straight ahead of me to the wall with all the posters, I saw that Ariel and Kfir were no longer there. And then when I looked at the small table in the centre of the shul where we light the shabbat candles as well as the yahrzeit memorial candle,  that I always light every shabbat and bring with me to shul; since October 7th 2023, there was a poster with a picture of the Bibas Boys and their mother…I just wanted to burst into tears.

I don’t personally know them, but I feel such a kinship with them and I just want to wrap my arms around Yaarden. But then I think….how he isn’t the only Israeli that lost his whole family on the 7th of October 2023. So many children became orphans…a hostage that was released just a few weeks ago lost his whole family and only found out the night after returning to Israel.

The past few days warnings have been sent around the Jewish Community in Cape Town, warning us of a Pro Hamas Protest that will be happening in the city, tomorrow. I am just livid that this city will allow it…… I considered taping the Israel flag on my car window, since I park on a busy road; which will be the road that they will pass in the march, but I don’t have the money to spend on car repairs etc, which I am sure I would have to as I am sure my car would be vandilised.

My work colleague said something to me today, that really got me thinking… …and this I have always known…but what disturbed me was the next thing she said…and that was….  I cannot believe that G-d would let a situation happen that would result in babies being kidnapped and then murdered. I cannot believe that he would let so much innocent blood be spilled. But then again…this world is filled with so much poverty…kids and women are being rapped daily…so many people in this world are suffering…I am struggeling to come right with my life, my finances, my husband…