אני קושית יפה/I’m a Cute Black Girl Pg 109
Mazeltov to Yuval on coming 2nd in Eurovision 2025. I attempted to watch the show live on last night…but only manged to get through 16 of the 26 finalist and honestly I only thought Yuval was worth being a finalist…no disrespect to the others but I didn’t find them to be that good…other than Yuval of course and clearly the rest of the world agreed with me as their votes showed it.
Anyway this post isn’t about Eurovision, or Yuval or anything relating to that. This post is about my personal Jewish calling.
Now I cannot say that I converted because of the 
https://t.co/7haDHW8MuB" / X” width=”273″ height=”273″ /> becasuse I had already converted when that horrific day happened, but what I can say is that I am proud to say I am Jewish and that I look to Jerusalem when I recite the Amidah and I consider it to be the land of the Jewish People.
I often think how whatever Hamas was hoping would happen after that day hasn’t. That day only made the Jews around the world louder and more determined to to proclaim their right. Every day I see more young wearing kippot and teffilim…everyday I hear more about South African Jews making Aliyah…
this post isn’t about October 7th 2023. But with all the hatred towards Israel and Jews, I don’t think I have ever been more proud to shout out that I am Jewish and declare that I am proud of it and I support the IDF, even Bibi and often think of ways to show my Jewish Pride.
I wear Magen David with pride…
I even have diamante Magen David Earrings that I wear occassionally… 
last week I bought a threaded bracelet with the yellow ribbon in it… 
and today I went specifically to a Jewish store to purchase another 
But I also went to buy something that reached out me last night when I saw it…
I started reading it today…and while I did, I stood facing Jerusalem…
But this Amidah isn’t what you would find in the Siddur…from what I gather this is the breakdown of the 19 blessings of the Amidah.
Today, I started with the first one. 
which means 
“Avraham was the first person to go against the idolatrous practices of the entire world around him, so too, you have the strength to uphold your inner truth and go against the grain. Take on the characteritics of Avraham: be loving, giving, and committed to ring diving consciousness into this world. Just liek Avraham didn’t questiion G-d’s instructions (Avraham was told by G-d to move to Israel only to experice a famine adn susequently leave), accept all that happens to you as coming from Hashem with love, and tap into the foundation of your spiritual self.”
To me Hashem is the only way forward and so I will no cower from my true identity and what I believe through being Jewish and standing up by it. I will continue to make my life and home more Jewish. But here is my little dilemma.
I am not orthodox nor do I ever wish to be. So I am not kosher, I wear pants, I don’t go to shul ever Shabbat nor do I keep Shabbat and since I am being honest I fail to light the shabbat candles every Friday night and I fail to follow through with Shabbat Supper of the Blessing of the Wine and Chalah…I mean of course it would be easier if I had a Jewish husband and a family… 
…
But maybe I should start from somewhere and make that effort to go to Shul at least every Friday night. That way I will light the Shabbat Candles every Erev Shabbat and with the congragation we will recite the Kiddush. And I could ask my Rabbi of a brother in law to hand up the 
…he even offered to scribe the mezuzah prayer for me. He also told me that a study was done recently and that it was estimated that more than 80% of mezzuzot are not kosher s they are empty inside and do not have the ‘Shema’ in it. For my lil flat I will need 5 as you need to have one for ever doorway in your house besides the bathroom and kitchen, aparently.
