He broke first…

…but I really wish he didn’t. HIm reaching out to me, even if it was probably just …well it wasn’t really sweet talk when he explained himself and what has been going on this past week and getting him stressed and then the good that has gone on which mad him want to celebrate in some way…

I don’t know some other things… so today we chatted on WhatsApp. I let him have it and he apologised. I questioned the sincerity of the apology.

Went to shul tonight…

I come home…and the key hole that I always lock when I leave the house in the morning to go to work, is unlocked…so I know immediately… or he may have locked me out again. I try the latch and it is locked but not down so I can open the door.

I walk in slowly…hear  and he aks me where have I been…told him I went to shul and I told him this earlier in the day when I was at work.

While walking through the flat I smell cooking…I go to the kitchen and all the food is now in the fridge. I ask him if he has been cooking…he tells me he warmed up food for himself.

So it is 19h56 now and ther eis no supper for me…I mean I can’t really be mad about that since I should have prepared something,  or done something…he tells me that I can order food… I just don’t know what. I am just irritated how selfish he was about not considering me for supper. But can I really be upset for that if he ate pork and he knows I won’t eat that.

I just want to take off my make up now…crawl into bed and cry! I don’t even know why I want to cry. I am just exhausted…

While walking into Shul this evening…I was happy and cheerful and full of smiles…my left hand was itchy, so I got hopeful…

Money will eventually come to them. If their left palm itches, it is considered that she is lucky. It is thought that a woman’s left-hand itching would bring her success and wealth. Additionally, an itchy left palm is a sign of excess wealth.

 , is being confusing since each post says something different. So not I don’t know what that means… but basically, I was all happy when I was coming home from shul, I was happy while at shul…and now I just want to curl up and cry and just be on my own.