I Need to Get Up…

….but I really don’t feel like it.
It is my day off work but I don’t feel like getting up and doing all the things I saw I was gonna do.
Like….

– sort out rates and taxes – clean flat (because my husband clearly can’t even though he says he will – meet up with my sister and niece later – look for a job

I cane home from work yesterday and after struggling to find parking my husband helped me up with the parcels and then fell right back to sleep. He was so hungover. Don’t you stop being that irresponsible with drinking when you reach your mid 30’s ?

I just want to cry and lie in bed and read. But I need to get up and face the world because no one else is going to.

I will get up just now and face the world with a smile on my face and will do all that I gotta do… just need to wipe the tears from my cheeks and pop my meds. Aah…gonna need to take some time to write up a budget and stick to it. Please G-d let me win some large sum of money and please bless me with the knowing to use it wisely.

Last night I read the Torah. The Israelites have left Egypt and are complaining a lot and every time Hashem steps in through Moses to help them but he gives them restrictions which they do partially follow. Maybe my next steps is becoming as Orthodox as I can be and stop doing things half way and thinking that is enough.