‘R’ Rated!!!!

 

 

This weekend is a long weekend…well atleast that is what it is for South Africa. Tomorrow is Youth Day.

Youth Day in South Africa, observed annually on June 16, commemorates the 1976 Soweto uprising, a pivotal moment in the fight against apartheid. It honors the youth who protested against the imposition of Afrikaans as the language of instruction in schools and recognizes the ongoing contributions of young people to South Africa’s development.  

 

Friday comes…and I am home alone…my husband had a work thing! They were going out for the night somewhere, and he would be back some time on Saturday…so I knew he would be drinking.

 I am so over it and couldn’t care anymore. I now ignore it and as much as it pisses me off…I work on not arguing with him about it and just brushing it off my shoulder…of course I do wish for bad things to happen to him because of the drinking and then I go off day dreaming about my life after him…and then I just feel bad for having some hopeful feeling that his drinking will become fatal to him. Oh gosh, just writing this and admitting it is making me feel real shitty!

Anyway so Friday I am home alone and for the past few days I have been feeling really really really horny. Which isn’t very normal for me since it has been a while since I have felt horny and without feeling that way after reading some very sexual scene in one of my Kindle stories.

   those are just a few of the books I have been reading…I love reading books like these…and not for the descriptive sex, I just love the  , , …

 

Anyway, back to my Friday night. So he is gone, I am home alone and onto day three of being very horny…so I whipp out my ‘friend’ in by bedside drawer…clean it up and have some fun on my own…

 now he knows I have it and he has often used on me to get things started for us…so I have nothing to be ashamed of…well other than I prefer my ‘friend’ over my husband.

Had fun on my own a number of times.

Saturday rolls in and he comes home…of course wreaking of booze and he shows me what his work friend bought me…

 now he likes Savannah and he knows I hate it and any other beer. So I am thinking why the &#%$ bullshit me when I know it is all for you. He goes on about how he knows we agreed on not drinking in the house but his colleague who loves me and thinks I am beautiful bought them for me. 

So he is ready to pass out but knows from past episodes that he will blow alcohol breathe into my face and then bedroom will stink of booze and we will fight the next day so he put himself to sleep in the spare bedroom.

Now it is like   on a Saturday and he is snoring away in the other bedroom…, so I whip out my ‘friend’ again…and binge watch  What does he see in Huda? And also did some binge watching of  and no, I haven’t been horny because of this show…

Anyway so my husband is snoring in the second bedroom…I am alone in my bed…so why not? My ‘friend’ and I had some more fun.  has got be thinking of other stuff…seeing all these guys make an effort for the girls they have hooked up with for the week got me wondering why my husband doesn’t make an effort for me, and when he does it is a special thing and I need to bow down to him, yet I make the effort for him all the time. Because he was going to be amongst people on Friday he made the effort to dye his hair and cut it and put on decent clothes….but everyday I have to bunk with a guy that has a mini fro, wears whatever he slept in while he works remotely…I mean he will shower, but just to put on clean sleeping clothes…and then it is a wash and repeat. Not I know I go out to an office to work so putting on clean clothes and make up etc is kinda a must but I make the effort for him too…I take pride to look good for him even if we are just staying at home…I make the effort to prepare meals for him pretty much every night and the nights I don’t we are getting take outs. The guys on Love Island, yes they are half the age of my husband but damn are they ripped. My husband has his stomach sticking out below almost every t-shirt he has and I am regularly buying him a bigger size…and he will still boast about how he has lost weight but I sure as &%@$ don’t see it…this is what I have to see every day..

 and the best thing is how he blames me for it. Yeah I feed him, but he is the one that will have 3 servings and will down a bottle of vodka and I don’t know whatelse.

Anyway it is  today and I arranged that my sister and I, our husbnads and her daughter and my other neice would take my father out for breakfast. It was a great morning and I loved every minute of it… Of course he was too   to come. And so again I had to field questions about where my husband was… Why do they ask that? Well whenver we get together he doesn’t come and I have to field questions and generally skirt around the fact that he is drunk or hangover…

Well after breakfast I did some shopping and bought him new tshirts…since his current ones are too small…when I gave them to him he just said “Thanks.” and then threw it onto the bed and just went back to sleep. When he woke up again I asked him if he wanted to have some  but he said no and told me to have fun on my own…so I whipped out my ‘friend’ and while he snored next to me…I had some fun on my own!

Since he works for a UK company, tomorrow is a normal work day for him…but I get the day off…so I am just chilled and pissed off on how I can’t remember the last time I had sex with my husband and how when I bring that up he will blame it on me and say how I never want to have sex.

I am trying really hard to want to stay married because I love being his wife and I love him…and not because his financial assistance helps me keep a roof over our head.

Our life has become so routine and so loveless…well at least loveless to me and saying , is an actual thought and not a natural declaration. Years ago I didn’t understand how people could have affairs…and now it is often all I think about…