Coming to a end

I was standing in what can be considered a kitchen in a studio when the thought hit me.

I’m a pretty lousy person.

I think back to the relationship, or lack of it, with my daughter. It was pretty shitty. I only really understood my relationship with her when I was with her Mom. I understood marriage family, not single family.

I wasn’t selfish or just about me, I just didn’t know how to be a single weekend father.

I guess in a way I used my 2nd marriage to “cover” up all my failures with her.

But I really fucked up there and it’s too late to fix because she’s gone.

I seriously can’t stand being alone and try as I might these several years all I can do is just “power through” by sleeping and wasting the time away.

I don’t think I’ll ever turn it around and I don’t think anyone will ever care enough to help me.

So, where do I go from here? How do I go from here?