As usual, it looks like I’ll be handing everything on my own. I mean it bothers me. But if no one wants to participate, so be it. More for me I guess.
B asked me how do I deal with it. I started to answer and she cut me off. “No. Not work. Not, money. How can you handle being so, lonely?”
I honestly didn’t know how to answer. “I’m not lonely lol.” That was so random wtf. “What would make you think that I’m… What does that even mean? What’s the definition?” It’s not even a word that gets any use in my vocabulary. “Look, I’m all kind of different things, but lonely? Lonely isn’t one of them.” I don’t think I am. Am I lonely?
I told her I enjoy solitude. That almost all the things that go wrong in my life only happens with other people’s involvement. I never felt a way that would make me purposely word it as feeling lonesome.
She said she doesn’t like to be by herself for so many days, weeks, months etc. That no matter how much people work her nerves, having people around just felt normal. She told me all the ways living like me would drive her crazy.
I guess I just never thought of it. At least not that way. Maybe it does drive you crazy.