Feast AND famine

 This is the famine week; not a thing scheduled all week, except two days of training, Wednesday and Thursday, from 9 til 3.

It’s 21 miles away, east of here, so I’ll be going the right way – most traffic will be coming west.  I’ll have to leave at 8 am or so, which of course means I’ll have to get up by 7 or so – an hour or so to wake up and get ready and… is pretty much what I need to go out the door.  I hate feeling rushed, so a little time to ease into my day is good.

Got a surprise text tonight – or, I didn’t notice it until I got home at 2:45 am.  I’ve gotta give my friend a ride to a therapy appointment.

(woulda been nice if I could have planned it a bit better….)

***

Yeah.  Closed down another bar.  Fifth slip in two months, so, considering the past, that’s not bad, I don’t think.

I heard it in the Navy:  "I can sleep when I’m dead."  You can do that when you’re in your 20’s, but in my 50’s it’s not so cool to think that way.

***

The LST work tends to be day before notice, and there’s none this week – more on that next time, and it may just be paranoia.  I’m going to get more training so I can do a regular schedule in one of the Group Homes – I’m "on-call" now, and that tends to be last minute too, or could be, and I’m thinking that as much as I like the LST work and the few more dollars it pays, I need a "real" job, one that will make the car payment stress-free.

Unlike now, because that payment is due the 20th, and I don’t have all of it.  I really do NEED the car with these jobs, so I’d really like to avoid those late charges and make the payments on time.  I have until the 30th to avoid any charges, but that’s right around the corner, and it’d be nice if I had some cash left over too.  VocRehab is closing my case – they got me a job – 2, sort of, and the job is done as far as they’re concerned and I’m back to doing it on my own, soon enough.

Which is a damn good reason to ensure I can pay for, and keep, my car.

My paycheck’s Direct Deposit paperwork must not have been done – I turned it in, but no deposit on pay day, Friday, and they tell me to come get my check, 21 miles away at the office.  I’m going to go get it tomorrow; I need the money.

I’m doing pretty well at not stressing about $ – lot’s of practice, I guess, but it would be very nice not to have to think of EVERY dollar I spend, and who to rob to pay who.

I don’t see that changing for me any time soon.  This hole is so deep, it’s going to take a long time to work my way out of it.  I’m resigned to being poor for the rest of my life.

Well.  3:20 am, and not so much by choice.  I’ve got a Marie Calendar’s pot pie in the microwave, so I’ll eat and get 4 hours of sleep, because I have to give my biker friend a ride to therapy tomorrow, getting there before 9:45.

There could be something to that old saying: I guess I will sleep when I’m dead.  Hopefully, that doesn’t come too soon.

 

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