reconsidering

 While I am doing what I thought I wanted to do, drive big vehicles, I have to wonder if I am not very good at it.

I had a charter out to MCminamins in Troudale. It’s an old Poor House that has been converted into a brewery/hotel/restaurant/spa and it is on very tight grounds.  I went there with a big bus in the summer and had a hell of a time driving into and out of there, in the DAYTIME and a relatively uncrowded parking lot.  Last night, it was damn dark and the lots were full, and I brushed up aganist a new car, unseen by me because of a spot light’s reflection in my passenger side mirror, and while I just brushed it with my bus – no damge to the bus – cars are made of plactic and I pretty much destroyed the car. I tried to find the owner, but with six or eight buildings on that site, I couldn’t and so left a note on the car – who I was, what bus I had, who I drive for, etc.  I had to wait four hours for my party, who all saw the accident, and was dreading the owner finding the car while I was there – but I did it, and I have to "own my mistakes".

It was damn cold out there in Troutdale, and I was less than happy with myself.  My party finally came back and I drove them back, dropped them off, fueled my bus, and went into the office to deal with it.  I had of course told them immeadiately, when it happened, and was writing out a letter to the boss (it was after midnight by then)when the manager of the pub/etc called and said it was an employee’s car and could they have the insurance info.  I took the call and provided the info, thinking, well, I’m not long for this job, and besides, maybe I’m just not a very good driver.

I am scheduled to do  charter today, the band for one of our private schools to a football game, and I haven’t been told otherwise yet, but I anticipate losing my job, and I guess I’m not unhappy about that.  The irregular hours, unpredictability, long, not necessarily paid for hours, and places I have to go with vehicles that at not sized right is geting to me.

And I’m thinking that I’m not a good enough big vehicle driver – I should let go of that and get a more regular job.  If I can, I guess.  One of the other driver’s wives works for Housing and he thinks I should talk to them about a job with Housing – regular hours.  I will.  I can’t do this job as well as I should, and it shouldn’t be my only job.  everyone else is retired and coming to this as a second career or income source, but it’s too unpredicable to be a man’s only source of income.  Besides, I’m single – everyone else has another income source, a wife or husband, and I’m making mistakes that cost the company.

Speaking of that, I have to go work.

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