11

My life is in disarray, has it even started yet? I keep lying to myself, saying I don’t hate, that I only love. I know the best version of myself but my emotions stop me from reaching them, I’m so angry all the time. I see myself as better than others, I know I’m not better than them. I want to hit something, I want to stab something, I want to scream and yell while doing it. Why am I like this? I feel like I’m going crazy, I have to get out of here, I have to stay calm. I want my life back, I want a life, I want to keep my shit together, I want to run away, I want to thrive, I want them to hurt, I want to hurt them. When can I disappear?