I don’t want to

I don’t want to do this

Maybe I don’t want to do this

Maybe I’m too bored by it. 

Maybe my mind can’t effectively shape my thoughts into something dynamic and relatable. 

There’s a lot of coffee. A lot of vapes, cigarette breaks, rubbing eyes, adjusting my position on the seat, sighing. 

Is this what my body needs to divest itself of the feelings that affect me every day? 

I just don’t care. I am processing the last ten years in a slow fashion.