All The Small Things

Esmeralda and Diana already had birthdays this month.  My other friend, also named Diana, has a birthday next week.   

Mom also has a birthday this month.  She would have turned 74 this year. 

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again.  Not a day goes by where I don’t think of Mom.  This coming October, she will have been gone for seven years.  It doesn’t seem or feel like it’s been that long, but here we are, on the brink of the seventh anniversary of her passing. 

There is a chance that some of my entries this month will be about Mom, as we march towards her 74th birthday.

Mom taught me a lot of things as I was growing up, mostly during the time that I was a kid, but I suppose even after I entered adulthood as well.  For as long as Mom was alive, I guess there was always an opportunity for her to teach me something. 

This lesson brings me back to the early 1980’s, when I was very young and just getting started in my collecting of action figures.  The first collection I started would be with the figures from the world of He-Man & The Masters of the Universe.  In the following years, I would find myself also collecting figures from G.I. Joe, Transformers, M.A.S.K., Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, among many others.  Just as I attribute my entry into the world of video games to Dad, my collecting of action figures was all Mom’s doing. 

When I was 6-years old and in the first grade, I remember coming home from school this one afternoon. 

I have no recollection as to what happened in school that day, but what I can say is that I was not stressed out or even tired.  I always seemed to enjoy school, especially my time in elementary school, and from kindergarten all the way through sixth grade, I was rarely stressed out by anything related to school or academia in general.  Elementary school was fun and I never found anything about it to be difficult.  Needless to say, I did well academically, especially in elementary school. 

Mom tended to spend her free time shopping.  She was a stay-at-home mom and never worked an actual paying job during my lifetime.  Truth be told, she felt that she earned the right to shop, being that she always maintained a clean house, ensured that we were all fed, that Dad was taken care of, and she otherwise kept the household standing and otherwise in tiptop shape. 

On this particular afternoon, I came home and went straight to my bedroom, where I had a small color television of my own.  The Atari 2600 had been hooked up to this television, though my intent that afternoon was to turn on the television and watch cartoons.  Watching cartoons after school was a thing in those days and I always enjoyed watching cartoons while I did homework.  In the first grade, homework was not a consistent thing, but in general, first grade homework was never difficult anyway.  As far as those cartoons, I’d watch cartoons in the morning before school, as well as in the afternoon after school had gotten out. 

Before I had a chance to even look at the television and turn it on, I saw something on my pillow.  I came home found this action figure on my pillow. 

Now, I want to be clear that the image above is not that of the actual figure that Mom had bought me.  That image is one that I found on the internet. 

As for the actual figure that Mom bought me?  I opened it within seconds and was completely overjoyed in the process. 

This was a gift that I had no reason to anticipate and I was ecstatic.  At 6-years old, I found something like that to be wholly exciting and indeed, I had a big smile on my face for the rest of that day and even into the next day.  After I opened this Prince Adam figure, I went into the living room, found Mom, and gave her a big hug.  I thanked her for buying me this figure, which I had no idea had even been released. 

She knew I didn’t have this figure and when she saw it in the store earlier that day, she bought it for me.  I later learned that this was the only reason she needed to buy me Prince Adam. 

Because I didn’t have it already. 

She needed no other reason.  That was more enough for her.  It wasn’t about the money.  There was never any question as to whether I deserved it.  She wasn’t rewarding me for anything.  To her, it was a small gesture and just another way she showed me how much she loved me, but to me at just 6-years old, it meant the world.  I got a new action figure, for no other reason, other than I was alive and Mom happened to think about me during her travels earlier that day.

For the rest of my time in elementary school, Mom would do this sort of thing a few more times.  I can’t count exactly how many times, but I remember her leaving various toys on my pillow, all of which were waiting for me once I got home from school.

I don’t remember when Mom and I finally had a discussion about why she would do this sort of thing, randomly buy me toys and leave them on my pillow for me to discover, but she would eventually explain to me why this was something she did.

Obviously, this conversation occurred over 30 years ago, so I’m not going to remember the exact wording of what she said to me.  Below is my takeaway and what I recall of she said.  Consider this a means of paraphrasing.                                                    

I did that because you’re my son and I love you and because I know you like being surprised by that kind of thing.  You see, when you love someone and really care about them, it’s okay to do little things for them, to show them that they are important to you and that you’re thinking about them.  Sometimes you can even surprise them, like I do with you.  Just because you’re in school and I’m here at home, that doesn’t mean that I’m not thinking about you.  I know that those figures and toys don’t cost a lot of money, but that’s not the point.  It’s not about the money.  It’s about how a small but thoughtful act makes someone feel, just because you care about them and you were thinking of them. 

I want you to learn that sometimes, it’s the small things in life that can end up meaning so much to people you care about.  Don’t ever be afraid to do something small for someone.  No matter how small it might be to you, it might mean the world to them.

So, at a very young age, I learned to value the small things, the small gestures, in life, not only in those that are shown to me, but also in those that I might show to others.  Now as an adult, I look to do those small things for others when those opportunities present themselves.  I sometimes buy gifts for others and I put a lot of thought into those, because Mom would do that for me.  It’s never about the money and a lot of the time, these things don’t have to cost anything more than a little bit of time and a small amount of effort.  It’s always the thought that goes into those gestures that makes them so worthwhile.           

It doesn’t have to be anything complicated.  Sometimes something as seemingly insignificant as a small bag of candy left on someone’s keyboard, a well-placed and maybe hidden handwritten note of encouragement and well wishes, or even a “Good morning” text message can mean a lot and possibly and unknowingly brighten someone’s day.  As far as I’m concerned, none of those things takes a lot of time or effort to do.  Sending a text message can literally take seconds to send.      

It truly is the small things in life that can end up meaning so much. 

Mom may not be around anymore to bless me with her small surprising and loving gestures, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t remember those gestures she left and had shown me all those years ago.  I also remember that simple lesson she taught me about showing others that you care about them with a small gesture.    

As for my Prince Adam figure, I don’t know what happened to it.

As for Mom’s lesson…like her, that lesson will forever be in my heart.