Fuck You, You’re Helping – Part 2

She consistently accuses me of wanting to be upset, not only with her, but in general. This has never made any sense to me. Being upset, if anything, throws me off my baseline and what is normal and comfortable for me. I’m not the kind of person who likes being upset and I wouldn’t want to strive to be mad under any circumstance.  I have to imagine that there are probably people out there who are like that, but that’s not me. Never has been and never will.   

The argument we had was silly in some way and at least for me, I was never looking to assert to her that I was right or that somehow she was wrong.  I just wanted her to realize that what she was saying was completely off-base or to use more of that modern slang, “out of pocket”.   

Regardless of how this help came to be implemented, one truly needs to be appreciative.  Acting entitled to this help, at least for me, makes me not want to help in any capacity. I have more important things to do as it is. Of course, help can come in different forms and packages. If I’m being forced to help and they’re not appreciative, assume that I’m going to do the bare minimum and not even come close to giving my all. Why exert myself to the fullest for someone who doesn’t/won’t appreciate it? As diligent as I can be, I also know how to put in as little effort into things as possible. It’s not even being lazy either. It’s just me proving a point and not exerting myself any further than I feel is necessary. 

I figure that if she wants to give Ernie and Vanessa credit for whatever they’re doing, then she and her other coworker can crawl up that tree for help. Those four can be miserable together and leave me and the rest of the office out of it. 

Maybe in some way, she and I hammered things out and came to an understanding after talking later in the afternoon, but just because she apologized, that doesn’t mean that I’m just going to forget what she said.  Indeed, there are going to be some residual feelings.   

Unfortunately, all that stuff lingers and I’ll be damned if I’m going to apologize for having a memory. 

So, as it stands, I don’t know when this burden to help will fall onto my shoulders, though I’m still going to keep my eyes open for it. I’m not looking to go against management on this, as much as I will look to stick it to those who frankly, I don’t think are deserving of MY help.