Who Am I?

I don’t even know anymore.  Sometimes, I wonder if I should stop thinking about it and putting much thought into it.  I want to say that I know who I am, but I’m not as confident about this as I was when today started.  Like I said, I don’t know anymore.  I’ve just reached a point where I’m just here.    

I think I go wrong when I try to relate to people and interact with them.  I’ve very charismatic.  I have some semblance of a personality.  I don’t always present as the introvert that I truly am.  I can have conversations with people.  I can make people laugh.  I want to think that I’m entertaining and someone with whom most people wouldn’t mind engaging.  Yes, interacting with people is tiring, but I still do it. 

Sometimes my efforts pay off.  Most of the time they don’t.  I’ve reached a point where I’m ready to give up and just revert to my lone wolf ways.  This has always worked for me and I think I’d be better off if I were to become that person again. 

I just need to keep my distance from people, even if it means ignoring people and not telling them explicitly why I’m not looking to connect with them anymore.  I think in this day and age, they call that “ghosting”.  I don’t give a fuck what people today want to call it.  I think that’s the way I’m going to go about things.  I’m looking to just sort of disappear, whether this is to occur gradually or abruptly. 

I don’t know where I was going with this.  All I know is that I’m frustrated because people suck.  Everyone cares about themselves.  I don’t need people to care about me, because the only one I really need is me. 

It’s very much like 2Pac said…

It’s just me against the world.