Please, let me be

Oh God please help me.

I can’t keep living like this.

I can’t stop it. I have absolutely no control over it. It consumes every waking second of my life, and it’s getting worse and worse. There are only very limited things that can stop me from thinking about it. On occasion I can think of something else for 5 minutes at a time, but then it is always there waiting for me.

Left alone with it, it tears me apart. I go crazy. I cannot stop it at all.

It never stops. I never get any peace.

I hate it and I love it. I couldn’t live without it, but it is killing me. My life would have been so so much more without it.

I hate you bulimia. Don’t ever leave me.