Fuck Your Ribbons and Your Pearls


They’re right, the heat in Arizona is something else. Even in the AC controlled terminal building, I can feel the heat swirling about me. I’ve been travelling for 30 hours. I don’t know how many times zones I’ve travelled through, I’ve slept in 4 different airports to get here, and now I’m here. I can see a woman waving wildly in front of me but I’m so tired that I barely recognize her as Kathy. My darling friend and her husband who are putting me up for two weeks, they call it a holiday, I call it respite from my life. I have two weeks peace before I return only to pack up my life and return to Ma’s.

I spend the first week among various friends, allowing myself to just be, and it is glorious. The contentment that comes with being able to just be yourself, to be loved for who you are, not in spite of it, is blissful. Then on the Sunday we decide to have one last group outing, All four of us, we meet outside the zoo, but the four has turned into 7, May has brought her kids; Him, The Middle Child and The Toddler. It’s ok though, He is 3 years younger than me, TMC is sixteen and is there solely to babysit The Toddler. He follows me all day, we talk and laugh the full day through. He seems like he’s on my wavelength. He asks if it’s ok to add me on Facebook and we become friends, we all hook up again the following weekend, minus the younger two. We head in to 4th Avenue for shopping and tattoos, the perfect way to end any holiday in my mind and again, we spend the full day talking. We hit Applebees for dinner and on my way back to the table from the bathroom he pops out of nowhere to surpise me. He tells me he hopes I’ll come out again soon, that he’s fascinated by me, and then he kisses me. Softly. I reassure him that I will be back as soon as I can, and he kisses me again.

The following morning I can still feel that kiss as the journey home begins. 


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January 1, 2018

How lucky to be able to experience such a joyful moment.

January 1, 2018

To spend 30 hours traveling and end up in Arizona seems unfair, somehow.

January 1, 2018

There were lots of connections to be made.

January 1, 2018