⚠️ Rape/Sexual Assault ⚠️
I’m not going to regurgitate the relationship we had. You can find it, if you wish, within the chapter entitled “The Dick Mistake”. He shall henceforth be known as “Dick”.
The following April I flew out to be with him. Everyone thought I was going for a holiday, in truth, I was going to start a new life. There was no actual plan to return home in all honesty. The plan was to stay as long as I was able and then just nip over to Mexico for a week or so before returning to Tucson. I have no clue as to the actual feasibility of our plan, but it was our plan. He proposed at his 21st birthday party. I thought everything was coming together nicely, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
The following night we’d chilled in our apartment, recovering from our hangovers; Margaritas are nobody’s friend the next day. As we got in to bed, I snuggled in close to him. Enclosed within his arms I felt safe, comforted, it was serene. I had no fucking clue.
⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️3am. His alarm started to scream in the background, I’d grown accustomed to his routine fairly quickly. It would blare for a few seconds before he hit the snooze button, only this morning when I thought he’d hit the snooze button, he’d aftually switched it off. I drifted back off to sleep, still with him entwined around me, only to be brought back to consciousness by the tightening of his hand around my throat.
”Babe, what are you…” he cut me off by further tightening his grip and telling me to shut up or he would never leave go. When he was finished he got up and continued with his usual routine, I daren’t move. Frozen in shock of what had just happened, and what could happen next. Paralysed in the moment, he kissed my cheek before he left, and as he walked out the door he told me he loved me.
I should have left then.