I’m still here and not dead.

I don’t know why I don’t write – possibly because I wonder if anyone would believe how my life is now…

I still love my students, love where I work – even as it falls apart around me because Capt. Ahab is running my school and let a PSYCHO take the helm – and now they wonder why we are on the news for so many negative things….

But I love my students, and that is the only reason I have not said fuck it all and gone on to do something else.

My other joy is now I am no longer “the union” at my school, and people are slowly volunteering to help out with more things. But what the shit hits the fan I get to deal with all of that – which has been most of my weekends for awhile.

Where does the time go? If I think too much I feel my brain will fall apart…

Somewhere in there I’ve turned 32, which does not phase me in the least as apparently my students think I am lying and I am only 24 – and apparently have been since I met some of these kids when they were in elementary school…

The only significance of that is that it means I have been on here for nine years now. Holy shit! Nine years, and that even includes the lost entries from the great great of ’04. Which reminds me I need to back things up again…

I keep thinking I should write again – but then my lovely boyfriend got me into gaming and OCD girl here must complete all the quests in a game to be happy . . . Then he got me Elder Scrolls: Skyrim – the bastard…

Yay for rambling, but rambling is writing and this makes me feel a bit saner at the moment. And yet I recall sleeping much better years ago when I vented all the little voices in my head more often.

I often say I need to start writing again, but then don’t. For me there seems to be this nagging guilt in coming back to something that I seemingly abandoned – but I never have gone away completely. Every year I update my OD Plus subscription, forgoing the lifetime subscription because I like the idea of continually supporting OD. And I check here constantly to see what others have written, which makes me feel like a stalker quite a bit – but this site is such a fascinating microcosm of life. There is just so much here, and it seems more real than a lot of other things I stumble upon. People are more honest here and I enjoy that. I’ve met people here on OD whom I greatly respect and think of as friends, even though life drifts in so many ways there are people I deeply care about that I ‘met’ here.

I suppose that is enough rambling. What I need is sleep, which perhaps I will get tonight for a change, but that is a good thing.

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March 17, 2013

You’ll never finish skyrim. ;P

March 18, 2013

Crazy happy and interesting. Not pathetic really. People who call gamers pathetic are people who don’t understand the culture. ;P

March 19, 2013

ryn: Thanks. 🙂

March 21, 2013

Woohoo, spring break next week! Er, that is if we’re still on the same schedule. Definitely should go see OZ… and wondering if it would be appropriate for Clara as well. I suggested to your boy yesterday that we have games night at my house during the summer and he seemed good with the idea. What do you think?

March 21, 2013

And yeah, Skyrim lasts forever… kinda of enjoying it though 🙂