12/31/05

When you look at me, what do you see?
Do you see me? Or just your perception of me?

When I talk, tell you my problems, what do you hear?
Do you listen to what I say? Or hear that I am speaking?

Why do you dismiss my feelings, my thoughts, tell me that I am ‘wrong’?
They are my own, so what is ‘wrong’ with them?

I need you to see me.
I need you to listen to me.
I need you to understand.

See that I am hurting, that I am lost,
that I am trying to find my way back.

Listen to me, hear what I am saying –
I am asking for help the only way I know how.

Understand that I am trying, that I need help,
and that it will take time.

See me, because I can’t anymore.
Hear me, because I can’t talk to anyone else.
Please understand me, because no one else does.

A person’s perceptions shape their reality. My perceptions of the world around me are different from those of my brother, his girl friend, my parents, my best friends. The same goes for the perceptions of myself; I see myself a certain way, I think of myself as a certain person – and I know that differs from that of my friends.

However, my perceptions, thoughts, and feelings are just as real to me as this keyboard I am typing on, as the rain outside – but the catch, I only hear the rain, I don’t see it. So in my perception, it is raining – someone else might hear a heartbeat. . . .

So my perceptions, thoughts, and feelings are not real to anyone besides me. For someone else, the whole world is entirely different. That does not make me nor them wrong in any way, shape or form – it’s all a matter of perceptions.