Good night, Sleep tight + Video

I recall mantras from an earlier stage of my life :
Sleep is the enemy – caffeine is your friend
I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

Well I feel dead. Can I sleep now?

As always I am plague by nightmares and panic attacks. There are periods of unconsciousness, but little to no rest. Now add in my 35 pound heating pad corgi who likes the snuggle me right out my bed. But I like my Obie heating pad. I find that I sleep better when he’s in the bed with me. I’m still not getting much sleep, but at least it’s some….

And then there is Obie. He’s already passed out after his evening of being a baby toy. He’s been chance and played with and hugged and included in blanket forts and he is snoring away in happy puppy exhaustion. Corgis really need a toddler about their own age to play with. Growing together is fun as hell to watch – and Obie is still in love with the baby.

I wish I could sleep like a puppy, curled up and warm, feeling safe with my pack. Obie helps me sleep better than I used to.

I am starting to think that as little kids we really understand it – we need a “stuffy” or a “blankie,” something for comfort, and then we sleep soundly and feel safe. As we grow up we are forced the abandon that, and that’s when the sleeping problems start…..

Perhaps my “security Obie” helps me sleep better, perhaps it’s just pathological and it’s just the symbolized comfort of having the fuzzy warmth on the bed. But it sure is nice when I am woken up by nightmares to have that little fuzzy face there ready to snuggle, who lets me hug him like a teddy bear – who keeps me safe from myself.

And I finally understand youtube enough to upload my own videos and make them work. So here is a video of Obie with his Halloween costume.