We Don’t Do That, Lol

It has been a long day. Between circumventing sabotage, battling algorithms (and people), groveling for a job, and not knowing who to trust, I am good and exhausted.

All I know is that seeing one company’s logo makes me smile, but even hearing another company’s name makes me want to vomit immediately. Seeing certain uniforms makes me feel somewhat safe, but seeing others gives me the creeps. It’s kind of obvious that I’ve been through recent trauma, but nobody cares, so blah blah blah. Lol.

I mean, I got rid of (deleted whole account and stopped using) the gig app with the highest market share of restaurant delivery services (meaning they had access to more tasks) just because they reminded me too much of an ex-employer. That should tell you a little something about the trauma.

Today was all about trying to pay my light bill. That crap is high as hell. You’d think I owned a large home as much as they charge me every month. All my bills have gone up. It’s like the less money I have at my disposal, the higher the bills get and the more the companies change their payment policies. Gotta love the “must pay this bill by 5 p.m. or you get a late charge” rule. Beautiful.

I didn’t have the gas or the time for bullcrap requests. I need lights, and unfortunately, my complex doesn’t have solar panels rigged up on the roof. Thus, I need to pay for actual electricity.

You have little control over what you see when you’re doing gigs. You’re in the dark about what people actually offer, what the companies take before you see the offer, how the algorithm thinks, and so forth. So the only thing you can do is say no and hope you don’t NOPE your account to oblivion before you get something decent.

Trying to do something like retrain a machine is something you should actually get paid for. But no one pays for feedback, “training”, or any other such work these days, not unless you work for a literal tech company and are on that team.

Anyway, it was rough. It’s no way to live. Not for a single person with many bills. Maybe it used to be okay for me, but it isn’t anymore. Nowadays, it’s only something one should do for extra money, not all the money.

I came across some interesting characters after dark, people naming themselves BJs and whatnot. WTH? Lmao.

Nope. We don’t do that, lol. Not even if we desperately need to pay for lights, food, shelter, etc. Not at all unless our last names match.

I don’t have much else to day except the truth about why I always avoided being a supervisor for a large corporation and why I was always on the fence even during times when I considered going for it for the money.

PRIVACY.

To be a supervisor for a large corporation, one has to give up a lot of privacy and let people into their lives who don’t necessarily understand the trials, tribulations, and ways of common folk … poor folk … people who’ve had to scratch to survive their whole lives.

Some were born with silver spoons in their mouths, and some are very judgmental, prejudiced, unforgiving, etc., and they want to know ALL your business.

They want to know what you’re doing now, what you were doing 30 years ago, whether you came out of your mother’s vagina with breech or regular presentation, and the whole nine, lmao. You also need to be available to such people at ALL times.

I am simply not used to letting anyone that far into my personal world. It’s not because I’m up to anything devious but because I have suffered many abuses. I feel safest when I’m in my little shell and no one can come anywhere near me to harm me.

That is the truth. That’s why I went so many years mostly working low-level jobs and such. It wasn’t because I wasn’t capable of something greater. It was that I would have to let the higher-ups ALL the way into my life.

There really isn’t much to know TBH. I’m alone. I’m broke. I love God, I like cars and tech, and I write every day of my life.