#life

I've been mostly up since 4:30 this morning, on my day off. Bella kept trying to wake up, so I tried my hardest to stay in bed, despite needing to get up to use the restroom. Darryl moving around to get ready for work probably didn't help. Eventually I couldn't wait anymore and quietly got…

So. I met this guy eight years ago on holiday in Europe. I fell for him so, very, hard and I think he fell the same for me. He was married, I was in a relationship and neither of us was happy with our partners. We spent a week together and it was magical. When…

 Oh Atlanta, this is the time when I am woozy and crazy with you,  you intoxicate me with your decay, rolling down the expressway, trees peeking over the barriers like happy puppies ready to burst on the roadway, Angkor Wat- in the larval stage,  my own personal Conrad, pushing your heart of dark...

Song: Trespassers William / Untitled            Mood: 😏         Week of pregnancy: 11, day 1   I am so happy to be back on open diary. Last time I was logging on was when I was about 18! I am 25 now and my life is definitely different. I deal…

So over a year ago, with almost two year clean from heroin I found myself facing a scale in a doctors office during my second month of nursing school... fairly upset. I felt, nasty, ugly and unwanted even though i had a man that at the time was nice to me and sexed me up…

I honestly can't remember when you were born, I just remember wanting to be an only child. From a young age I wanted all the attention I could get, and there you were all new and shiny stealing my mothers time. What I maybe lacked to see as a bestfriend, was a sibling that I…

"Memories like films play on the wall of another self, another life A story without end that still lives on So much that passed us by is forever gone." — Wonder, VNV Nation   2018 threw me one hell of a curveball and taught me something I should have learned long ago. I should have let go&he...

I don't know when life wants to give me a rest to refresh by breath and energy and continue positively . Everyday new problems , feelings , stories which I don't know do I deserve them ?! Was I a bad heart person to deserve all these ? Always I followed my heart in the…

I recently wrote about grief, and the last few months have slowly brought me to a life of extreme anxiety and depression. I spent months, up all night after work wondering if I was going to die out of no where, what I would do if I lost someone else, and basically swimming in my…

Its a shit life.. just sometimes 28. 28 years young and literally shitting myself. Life is a rollercoaster. You know when you want to shout? Scream? Cry? Lash out.. thats how I feel. I have some good friends but they dont need my shit.. so here I am literally airing one of the rockiest times…