#life

I forgive myself. I relinquish the false narrative of a strong and happy face. Next time, ask for help ya silly ish! Prioritize self.. you cannot fill other cups when yours is empty. In all honesty.. cutting right to the chase.. F depression. Its a catch 22 that will blind side you. Opt out of&he...

To be completely honest with my self I don't know what makes me happy. I am a 22 year old who just graduated college this August and I am officially ready to move on to my next Journey. The problem is I don't know what makes me. I have a lot of self doubt and…

Trying to get by this weekend is harder than I thought it would be. The constant thought of what happened this time last year weighs heavily on my mind and my heart. I'm doing my best though. I haven't brought it up and I haven't lashed out. He knows this would be hard for me.…

I'm officially caught up on my life since I was last here. I was talking to Zoe about it. I think we may have found my trauma? Although, I'm not sure trauma is the correct terminology here as I'm not sure it is actually trauma. I tried looking for a definition of trauma, and all I…

I woke up today and decided I was going to break up with Sin. I had watched an episode of America’s Got Talent and saw the cutest little boy that was adopted. All I could think of was that I would still have a chance to adopt if I was with a partner that was…

Roomie, oh Roomie, why do you scare all the boys away? She had ONE that visited three days last week. Three days is a record. He seemed to genuinely like her, but it seems that she may have told him something about ME that was unfavorable. I think she told him that I yell at…

Another male guest left this afternoon, and as soon as he was gone, she called up another one. Roomie is really on a roll. Apparently young married men or men that are taken are really into 50-year-old women. The revolving door here shows me that there are no longer morals existing within these w...

I came home from my mom's last night, about 10:30 pm, and roomie tells me she's having a guy over on Saturday night. She doesn't ask, she TELLS me that yet another guy is coming over to ruin my Saturday night while my dog and I huddle in our room and hope to shit we…

Often I feel like I have this never ending emotional rollercoaster. Sense of pride from work and what I’ve done so far. Feeling lonely home with no one to talk to at night (other than some friends to talk). Missing my family who are over 1,500 miles away. Missing my dad who passed 27 year…

Who am I? Other than a mom? Other than a wife? I feel so lost. So unimportant. So frozen and stuck.  I feel as if I’m floating through life. Never actually happy. Sure, I love my kids and husband, but I don’t love myself. I feel no connection to things. I’m not truly happy. I…