What do I do now?

Where do I go from here now that you’re gone 27 years of you being my brother and no more phone calls never hugs now we’re sitting up late at night and telling each other our secrets smoking weed and partying and f***** up together you’re my best friend and my brother to lose him I don’t know who I am anymore I feel dead inside I feel I lost a bigger part of me than I care to admit I just don’t have the want you to go on or they give a f*** she care what do I do now where do I go from here and contemplate suicide