02/29/2012 *edited

I’m so useless, it’s embarrassing.

Twenty-five years old, with no job, working on a bachelor’s degree, still.  Of course, I already have two of them, but they’re completely useless.  All my friends are in graduate school, or have real jobs, or both.  I have pretty much nothing.

One of my friends is being approached by my sister’s boss for a job, and that’s annoying.  He just got accepted to the PhD program of his choice, complete with a position as a T.A. as well.  Those positions are highly coveted because they cover some of your tuition as well as pay a salary, and they usually include some benefits. 

I have to take out private loans to go to school because my college thinks (correctly) that I am a failure who deserves no more financial aid.  I have tens of thousands of dollars in student loans that I cannot pay back because I will never get a real job.  I’m thinking about dropping out.

I mean, who was I kidding about becoming a vet?  It’s not going to happen.  I’d have to move at least 350 miles away to go to vet school, live on my own, alone, without even my cat to keep me company.  I’d have to find a way to pay for it.  Oh, and I’d have to be smart enough to get through 4 years of heavy-duty classes.  I’m too fucking stupid and useless to do any of that, so I might as well accept my fate and get a job in retail. 

Oh, wait, they won’t hire me because I’m over qualified.  If I want a job, I’m going to have to lie about my education.  So much for being proud of that college degree, right?

Pretty much, my whole life is a fucking joke.  Nothing I do is worthwhile.  No one takes me seriously, and they shouldn’t, because I am a fucking joke. 

Oh, and my whole family thinks I’m a shitty person because I said I would take in my aunt’s one surviving cat, and didn’t.  I was concerned about the effect it would have on my cat, the one with the anxiety/FLUTD issues.  Also, we didn’t think the landlord would approve another pet, since we’re kind of at capacity here.  Also, I haven’t been able to go visit her downstate because I’m poor.  I don’t have heat this week because we couldn’t get the propane tank refilled.  Whatever.  They’re right, I am a shitty person.  I need to fall off the planet or something, do the world a favor.

Edited to add:

Someone bought me an OD+ subscription on the 27th…which I didn’t notice until today.  That’s really cool.  Not that I didn’t notice, I mean, but that someone did.