resolution

I’ve figured out my resolution I think. It is to be able to survive the upcoming year. currently, this small idea seams like a large feat to accomplish.

i think i’ll move to ny regardless of the boy. I need out of my city. i wanted to go out last night with a friend from college and my mom wouldn’t even let me because she didn’t want me to be driving. so i spent my first legal new years playing on my computer in my room. it fucking sucked. i just wanted to be drunk. I would have drunk here but my sminoff is forever old and tastes funky as shit and i left my new shit at school. i don’t understand how my mom just stays here everyday. she doesn’t work and only goes out to the grocery store, to get her hair done, or for other appointments. I’m going insane being here for as long as I have been. If i didn’t have plans with someone in a few days or an appointment coming up, I’d probably go back to school now. How sad is it that I prefer a small ass town without my fam to being at home with my fam. only if i could take my dogs to school w me, i’d never come back.

you can even tell i’m unhappy. i look like a big grease ball sporting sweat pants since like the 26th. I don’t really give a damn what i look like right now, but my mom always judges my appearance. it’s gay. i don’t even know what day it is, i so didn’t think today was friday. it’s all just another sucky day to me. they all mesh.

and lastly, i don’t really give a damn that it’s a "new" year.