hope

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well, after AF packed her bags and left, we had sex every night in hopes of conceiving. dennis is gone for 9 days so we have to hope i ovulate soon (or already did) or after he gets back. i don’t want to get into tracking my ovulation unless i have to. i will leave this to God. if it’s not supposed to happen quite yet, it’s not supposed to. and that’s the way it is. i believe in fate. if we hadn’t moved here, i likely wouldn’t have decided to have sawyer. it’s the only reason i can think for us being here. i hate this town and don’t even understand how i ended up here. crazy stuff. fate knew what we needed.

anyway, here’s to hoping i ovulate at just the right time. having sex 5 days before ovulation and getting the little sperm to meet up with the egg might just create a baby girl, so they say. but i’ve made a kind of peace with having either sex, just as i did with sawyer, to the point of being unsure about finding out the sex of baby 2. i think he’d love a brother, and as much as i’d love a daughter, i can just as easily see us with 2 little boys. haha the only issue there is we might end up with 3 kids if we don’t get a girl! i even have names picked for either sex; i just have to get dennis to agree to the boy name and we’re all set. i’ve got 2 choices for him. otherwise, he’ll have to come up with one i like.

i really hope we get pregnant this month. it will be a nice christmas surprise for our families, especially dennis’s. i hope his mom’s heart isn’t weak.

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