My best friend

I met my best friend R for the first time when I was 13 years old. We didn’t become BFF’s right away, but we became friends. I looked up to her. I admired her confidence and her beauty and her attitude. One night I was over at her house because her younger brother, who is my age, was having a party and had invited me over. I found R in the bathroom getting ready to go out that night. I sat that in the bathroom with her while she got ready and we just talked and talked.

Then one evening I called her house to see if her brother was home. He wasn’t, but she and I talked and talked on the phone for over an hour. She finally said why don’t you come on over? We lived close to each other so I got the parents’ permission and went over and spent the whole evening just hanging out and talking. Not long after that night she invited me to spend the night. To my shock, my parents said yes! So I spent the night that night and the next night too! That sealed our BFF status.

We had so much fun together! At one point we shared an apartment together and oh, the stories I could tell about that time…lol! Maybe I will in another entry.

Right now she’s taking care of her mom, who’s dying of pancreatic cancer. The healthcare providers don’t think it’ll be too long now. But for the last six months or so she has taken care of her mom by herself, and she’ll never know how much I admire her for that. She has two other siblings who haven’t done shit, excuse my language, and have left it all on R. She has handled it like a champ, I have to tell you. When she needs to cry she calls me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. That’s what I’m here for. I wish so badly I could be there to help her, to hold her mom’s hand and kiss her cheek and call her by my nickname for her one last time. I want to tell her mom that when it’s time, it’s okay to go because I’ll take care of R so she doesn’t have to worry about her.

I feel horrible guilt that I can’t do these things for her as I sit here crying. I’m going to miss her mom. I really am. She was like another mom to me, just like my mom is like another mom to my BFF.

We’ve been through a lot together over the years, but this is probably the hardest. I pray all the time for both of them, and if any of you are praying people, or into good vibes, please feel free to send them out. BFF could really use them, and I love her with all my heart and want her to have as many people as possible praying and sending good thoughts her way. Thank you.