Just another day…

So not a whole lot going on in my life at the moment. I work, I sleep, i cook/eat, and watch movies. I don’t get to go many places and my free time is usually for housework. I do wish I had someone to talk to on a regular basis, but being alone has become the norm for the past year and a half. It is what it is. I’m still planning my move back to Indy. I decided that I will go down next month (i took a vacation the week of my bday lol, just cause) but since I have to give my current place a 60 days notice, I figured Id go a month before that time to go look. So I got my plane ticket already and am planning to schedule a tour to go see the apts I wanted to check out. I hope to get back in the ones I used to live in in 2015 before I moved here to NC. They are really nice, and tho they are more than what I paid 10 years ago, with what I make (at least at day job alone) I can more easily afford their rent, and perhaps get one the size up from the one I had there before. I plan to take my current WFH job with me. It would make it so much easier to get in, if I already have employment, and with it being remote I can just take my stuff with me and set up there. Then, once I get settled, I can finally afford to pay down some of this debt I have. It’s hard to pay it down because all my money goes in the keeping them paid monthly and of course rent, food, and getting back and forth to job #2. So yeah…my lease is up mid July…so not too far from now. I’m also happy about the fact that my rent won’t be a full month’s since it’s half a month lol. I can use that extra money for the move and to get groceries for my new place. I don’t really have to buy anything for it, furniture wise lol, so I’m good on that. 

I may look for a pt second job when I get there, to help along with getting all my debts caught up. I’d like to be free to do what I use to and that’s travel to see my friends, enjoy more concerts and things like that. I haven’t gotten to go anywhere since August of last year when mom came to visit. Speaking of visiting, haha we still plan to come back here for vacations and do what we do when we come here. I just don’t have anyone here to do that stuff with, and no friends, family, bf, nothing here. NO one to fall back on. I thank God I haven’t needed an emergency contact, because I have no one. It can be depressing to think abut and sometimes can feel so lonely. I also plan to look for a new job once I get there (preferably WFH lol) for my day job. I am staying because its easier to just move a job I already have. I do not want to have to start back over all over again. That’s the main reason I decided to stay here once I left my ex. It’s too stressful trying to start over, find work, find a place to stay, etc. But I didn’t expect my life to be so depressing. Having no one to talk to daily, outside of work, is rough. I’m not used to not social interaction with familiar people. I try to keep myself entertained with movies, tv shows, music, housework, but it doesn’t replace needing a human connection. I haven’t had a hug since my mom came…sad to think about. So yeah, that’s why I have to go back. I honestly believe it’s gonna be fairly easy for me to do so, not exactly sure of the how, but I have faith it will work out in my favor.

This is most definitely a need and not a want. I don’t want to spend yet another holiday alone. I don’t want to bring in another year alone. Knowing I will bring 2026 in near family, is a good feeling. I have a few friends from Indy that I still keep in touch with, that I plan to hang out with soon as I can. I should be able to more easily, since I’d be paying damn near less than half of what my rent is current for a 1 bedroom lol. I’m looking forward to my new start. I will NEVER move for another man again…nope. I made that mistake twice, and twice I got burned. I hope to get back to a happier me, once I get myself back where I should have stayed. I love it where I live, so much to do, weather is nice and all that, but  was not meant for me to live here long term. I should have stayed when I moved back there in 2019, but I was dumb enough to come back here and give my ex a second chance. However, lesson learned indeed. This time, I am moving for ME. So there will be no regrets. I’m not really hoping to meet someone, tho I’d like to. I am not looking. If I am meant to be with anyone, he’ll find me if I am to be found.

Anyway, I am gonna try to enjoy what’s left of my day before Monday rears it’s ugly head. I work in a call center job, Mondays can be brutal haha.