Not feeling myself

I’m about 7 weeks post-partum and I’m feeling… just bleh.

From a health perspective, to start – I still am having some post-birth complications (minor ones) which are just annoying.  This means I can’t be as active as I’d like to be… which, I’m ready to get back to exercising and being healthy again.  This is a major buzzkill.  A lot of this has to do with my own BS – I started exercising WAY too hard about 4 weeks PP which is why I have to scale back, but boo.  I’m ready to be active again, especially since I just bought a Peloton treadmill!

On another health note – since I am on maternity leave, I’ve been taking care of appts which has been great!  Things that I’ve wanted to do but just… haven’t been able to or prioritized.  I finally went to a dermatologist for a skin cancer check – my mom has had to have several spots removed (Irish family skin), and I had (what I thought) was a questionable mole on my abdomen.  Well, turns out- the questionable mole is fine, but I DID have a bad mole on my calf!  That I need to get removed next Thursday.  On a scale of 1 to 4 (1 being just a mole, 4 being melanoma) – it was a “2”.  Which, I’m incredibly grateful for.  Not even pre-cancerous, but with exposure, can become cancerous.  Sometimes, God works in mysterious ways.  I would have NEVER checked that mole ever – it’s on the back of my calf for crying out loud!  So while I’m grateful that I caught it, it’s still a bit of added stress.

Also quite inconveniently, my husband’s (only) employee quit – while I was in labor, literally, lol.  So – he basically didn’t get a paternity leave.  It’s fine, he’s been working from home a lot – and his job is unique, best way I can describe it – and that’s been kind of annoying.  He’s been going into work a lot and that leaves me at home with baby everyday.  Which, is fine – but I’m bored.  SO bored.  I love my daughter SO much but the lack of structure right now is really affecting my mental health.  ESPECIALLYYYY since I can’t workout, which usually helps?  LOL.  Anyway.  I’m meant to be a working mother, that’s for sure.  I am not a very effective person just at home everyday.  I go back to work on June 27th, and boy, am I pumped!

Anyway, just tough with these weird little things to feel like myself.  Just kind of in a blah mood right now, not feeling great lookswise, can’t do a whole lot, kind of stuck at home in a mundane routine.  It’ll pass soon, I know that.  But I still have another month.  Need to find some hobbies.  Haha.

On the plus side – the house we are building will be done July 22nd!  Thank goodness – we have massively outgrown our house.  Our little baby doesn’t have a bedroom so her changing station is literally on our couch.  LOL.  Also, Taren’s playroom is our living room.  Basically there is shi* everywhere and it’s a cluttered mess, which is also probably why I hate being at home.  Haha.  Anyway – I’m excited for enough bedrooms (including a guest suite), a workout room, a playroom/den, and then of course a wing of the house with a primary suite also.  I say wing as if I’m moving into a mansion – I’m DEFINITELY not ya’ll, haha – the way they designed this house though is perfect when you have kids cuz there’s an entire primary en-suite that’s just blocked off.  Haha.  “Mama needs some me time!”

Life is still very good… I just am ready to feel like myself again.  I felt it a lot when I was pregnant, the last year or so, especially with my new job which has been nice.  But post partum, not so much.  Could be a touch of PPD, but overall am in an okay spot.  Will just keep an eye on it.

Hope ya’ll are doing well!

Much love,



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