A ‘Brief’ History of Timmy, Part XIII

At the end of October, I got the flu. Being completely void of energy, I skipped a number of classes. I didn’t and couldn’t make them up. That’s college for you. I never recovered from my lapse of academicness.

Since my return to the dorm, I wrote a lot. Well, not a LOT. But, I wrote a lot of good things. It’s like I got ideas all the time. And every idea was gold. Pornography. My Sexual Fantasies. Bushisms Translated For The Common American. PUSSISM. I created a religion. Cookies, a five-part diddley of rambling, which at the time, was my longest entry ever.

Even though Skunkie was gone, I still thought I’d see her over Winter Break. Maybe I’ll always be naive. On Winter Break, before leaving to see her, I got an email saying that she didn’t want to see me. It hurt. She said she couldn’t handle seeing me. So, I wrote an emotional, but mature, email to her saying that I didn’t want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable. And, that she would always be welcome to return to me as a TimmyFriend.

I had neglected Miami the previous summer, so I spent more time with her. If only I had The Van with me. Like the summer before, my dad was very nice about giving us rides. I had the pleasure of meeting Scanner on this break. We met in Buffalo Wild Wings.

(Scanner, Timmy, Miami)

Miami talked me me into calling Skunkie one last time, to see if she really didn’t want to see me. It was a quiet, dry conversation. It was local, so I didn’t mind. Also, I knew I wouldn’t hear from her in a long time, so I let it drag out. I said everything I wanted to say to her. Closure, in a way. I haven’t heard from her since.

Skunkieless, I went about my life. I’m sure I saw my long-haired friends. I got an email from our Kinky DiaryMaster, “Bang Bang” Bruce. I had mailed my money order in before leaving the dorm, but it took him that long to get back to me. I joined the Twenty Dollah Billz Club. It felt weird knowing nobody would read my writing. I began to write for me, again. Since joining the Twenty Dollah Billz Club, I think my writing has improved a lot. I write more day-to-day entries. I’ve gotten good at writing Onion-ish entries. I may not always be a NoteWhore, but some people still consider me an OD God.

I went back to the dorm to live life in a single-double. My roommate lost housing because financial aid screwed him over. I quickly learned that I will LOVE living out on my own. Nobody else to worry about. Just ME ME ME ME. *smiles* This also killed my motivation to leave the dorm. Well, almost.

Not long after returning to the dorm, The Great Hard Drive Crash occurred. I was pissed because I had just bought a new video card for Lisa. I was Lisa-less for an entire week. A week and a half later, I returned home to buy a new hard drive. I lost everything. I had some partial backups, but I kind of made a full system backup of my personal files for Skunkie. That’s how much I trusted her. I put everything on that CD, including some explicit TimmyPorn. Unfortunately, I was out of contact with Skunkie. I couldn’t call. She wouldn’t be on IM. I tried getting Emmy or her online best friend to talk to her, but that didn’t exactly work. Eventually, I emailed her and… waited.

Early February, I was sitting in the library, studying Physics, when Skunkie came to mind. I realized that I missed her. I had done a good job of putting her out of mind and moving on with my life. I began to mourn the loss of a friend. Skunkie meant a lot to me. I just wish she was mature enough to talk to me about how she felt. I deduced that I was too much for her. She wasn’t ready for the kind of relationship I wanted. To avoid “hurting” me, she just.. went away. I guess I scared her off. I just hope I’ve made a positive impact on her life. From what people have told me, I’ve helped her come out of her shell, a bit.

And so, for a time, I was completely alone. Not a single romantic interest to persue. I met Poptart, but she set off some alarms in me. Not to mention she lives too far away. Then I met Hairbrush. I don’t remember how I found her. The first entry of hers I read was about homophobia. I noted it. She came to my diary, and looked around my pull-down menus. She found my Fat People Rule entry, and thought that I fucking rule. *laughs* That entry is currently on RC, I believe. For the moment. Not bad for an entry almost a year old.

Hairbrush put up an entry about how she hadn’t connected with someone in a while. I was feeling friendly and obviously had some time on my hands, so I emailed her. “Hi, my name is Timmy…” I’d say she connected with me. Our correspondence blossomed to long emails, which would take about an hour to reply to. We had to limit ourselves to once a day. We were pretty open, and shared a lot of stuff with each other. She liked how I was no-bullshit, and that’s how our relationship stayed. We wrote erotica to each other. Um. Yeah. We liked turning each other on. *laughs*

Randomly, on March 26, 2003 (the day before her 18th birthday), I IMed her. I could not have predicted how well it went. We clicked, in a sense. We ended up masturbating together. This created a “Situation“. What did we do? We talked it out. Complete honesty. I searched myself, and told her how I felt. I liked her. We decided we HAD to meet, to see whether we would work or not. We decided upon May 16th, 2003, 5:00 PM, at a Dennys in Johnstown, PA. This seemed like forever to her, but to me, the weeks chiseled away.

My academic woes continued. Hairbrush sent me some brownies and cookies, which were absolutely delicious. FINALLY, after a long wait, Skunkie got my shit to me. Lisa Electron was whole again. In addition to my files, I got back my second journal, and Youth In Revolt. While Hairbrush was in Florida (and on her period), I read Youth In Revolt. Mostly to avoid studying. Completing the book, I realized, “Wow, I have no time left.” I kicked my academic ass into high-gear and crammed for finals. I passed all the classes whose finals I went to.

Dad gave me The Van, because he was going to be on travel. I had The Van on campus, without a permit, and thankfully didn’t get a permit. I hauled my ass home, and drove to see Hairbrush the next day. We met at the Denny’s, as planned. Her friends Jess and Jonah were there to make sure I’m not a serial masturbator. I held her hand, to let her know I was there. I felt calm, but she was nervous as hell. I had gotten another never-been-kissed, see. *laughs*

We both neglected to bring board games, or anything else to use as an ice-breaker. All we had were pictures. I was in the middle of my Junior Yearbook when she closed it and put it aside. She kept saying to “let it happen”, and it did. But, much like Skunkie was different than Angel, being with Hairbrush was different. We both were so comfortable with each other. We never did set limits, other than doing what felt comfortable. We slept together. Waking up in her arms was the most beautiful feeling.

In time, all things become declassified, this