All I Wanted Was One Hug.

Status Report

Wearing: Striped shirt, red/maroon pants, boxers, one sock on my left foot attached to my tuggy.

WinAmp is playing: In The Light – Led Zeppelin

Last ate: Some strange Thai soup. It was good.

Last round of masturbation: Yesterday.

Entry Start Time: 8:15 PM

What I’d like my DiaryName to be: Emotional.

Based on Esther’s “Senses”.

So melodramatic, I am. I’m feeling rather emotional at the moment. I could tell why, but I suppose I should start at the top. I’m going to pretend I’m actually not writing this for OD, but for Princess. That way I’ll write it better. *nods decisively*

I’ve had butterflies all day. And, I do mean all day. Every hour that passed, I’d note, “X hours until I see The Minor!” My heartrate felt accelerated. I also noticed, at one point, that my belly was making noises. …Like when I was with Hairbrush. She knows what I’m talking about. *laughs*

I got up this morning around 7 AM, after going to bed around 2:30 AM. Guys in my hall decided to have a toga party and get smashed? Guy next door offered me beer when I asked him to turn down his music. (He did turn it down, and I did refuse the alcohol.) Four classes today. One period gap after my first period. I suppose I spaced out for most of my classes.

My last class ended. I had time to kill and I was feeling nervous, so I went to the bathroom. I still had time to kill, so I went to the lab and wrote something in another diary. It’s mindless drivel, not worth copy/pasting. (I just looked it over.) Made the walk from the College Ave Computer Lab to the Thai place. They told me 5 PM. I walked in 4:55. *smirks* She was sitting on the far side of the table, near the window. Steve was next to her, and Nayla was across from her. Drew was at the head of the table. Nayla got up so I could sit across from The Minor. Dan and his girlfriend arrived and sat across from each other. (I couldn’t help but utter “BIGGAYDAN” now and then, and of course nobody knew what I was talking about.)

Talked. Learned lots of random things I can’t think of off the top of my head. Did get her birthday. She got mine. She asked my last name. She hates Republicans. She doesn’t like donuts or pastries. She likes cakes. I’m not a cake person. She does like brownies. She can make cheesecake from scratch. Mentioned her evil English teacher a few times, who gave them only the first chapter of a book to read.

Was evil as usual with my camera. Unfortunately, that picture with her flipping me off is the best picture. *laughs* I have a picture of myself, but as if I need more of those.

I got scolded for having bad manners. *laughs* Cracks me up. Food came. I was able to dive in, and got scolded for being rude. Or something. They started going off on me for not being considerate of everybody else, because you’re supposed to wait for everybody else’s food to come first. Uh, it did. Also, because they’re the type to pray before meals. Sure, I can humor that, but excuse me for not being familiar with your damn habits. I can NOT remember the last time I’ve been with people who prayed before a meal. Or yelled at me for eating when the food came. I really don’t see what the big deal with eating before everybody’s food comes is. Don’t even try to justify this with me, it’ll just piss me off. They can have their own customs, and I’ll deal, but.. nevermind.

Time passed. She said she had to leave early. I think something to do with her brother. I don’t think she said exactly. Nayla and Steve had a really uncomprehensable fight? Both walked out and eventually came back with fake blood for The Minor. Which she accidentally left there. We were maybe two blocks away. She started back, and I walked with her. She noted how I could keep up with her pace, because she walks fast. *shrugs* Whatever.

I kept her company on a streetcorner where she was waiting for her dad to pick her up. Chatted. I told her that I would love to hang out with her, but it was obvious what a busy girl she is. She probably does more schoolwork than me. She only needs to take two classes to graduate, but she’s taking six. *laughs* She’s not a computer person. So giving her my SN seemed rather silly. Did give her my number, if only for the sake of giving it to her. As far as we know, we’ll see each other again next Friday. I’ll have to think over if I’ll randomly call her.

Her dad came and.. she walked to the car. Um. I uh. I wanted to hug her! But, it seemed weird to call her back for a hug. Um. God damn it. *laughs* They drove off, and I was kinda bummed out. I was walking back the other way I had came, and I heard somebody yell “HATMAN!” I twirled around and saw the rest of everybody on the other side of the street. They asked where I was going. I said home. They told me I was going the wrong way. I was just going back the way I had came. They made fun of me for having no sense of direction, with I absolutely took exception to, for some reason. I was ready to shoot off some explicatives, but I held back. I decided to let it go. I pulled my typical I’m-not-going-to-yell-at-you-but-instead-I’m-going-to-get-really-quiet thing. They didn’t understand, and obviously, I wasn’t in the mood to explain. I wanted to be alone. There’s no point in rationalizing it. I was in a mood, I wanted them to just drop it.

I like her. As if it wasn’t obvious enough to myself. Sitting across from her, it took a bit for me to just calm down. She was obviously acting pretty calm. The mood didn’t seem right for me to just announce that I liked her. Let it run it’s course. I suppose I was just matching her demeanor. *smirks*

They have this thing they do. Highs and lows of the week. I couldn’t do it. I could have bullshitted it, but I just couldn’t do it. Regardless of the low, I know what my high was. My high was after I got off the phone with her, and I knew I’d see her again. But, I couldn’t just say it. Honesty be damned, I have to cede to the mood. Wouldn’t want to make her uncomfortable or anything.

I trust my instincts. Her asking about me means only one thing. …And that girl, I forget her name. She spotted me on College Ave. She said she heard me and The Minor were hooking up. I hate the phrase, but I know what she meant. Gossip. I’m amused. Yup, I’m definitely reassuring myself that she likes me. *laughs* It’s a game. A fun game. There’s little way around it, unless I want to make her uncomfortable. She’s never had a boyfriend before. Slow, as I’ve always wanted to do. And, for once, I have time. Plenty of time. I can get to know her, one way or another. I will see her, outside of those mass gatherings. Patience.

I feel a mix of joy from just seeing her, and a tinge of sadness knowing it’ll be a week until I see her again, and have a chance to hug her.

The Minor.

I suppose that’s all. While I was on the bus, thinking, I eventually snapped out of the funk I was in. I’m ready to just distract myself with the Elite Force. Maybe. Oh, and fuck all of you, I’m not your wanking material.