How Did I Get So Lucky?

Neither of my parents went to college nor did any of my aunts or uncles. None of my cousins attended college that I’m aware of. Yet 8 of the 9 children in my family graduated college. Seven of them with engineering degrees. 14/17 of their our kids went to college.

This got me thinking. Why? What was it that drove this?

We were lucky to grow up in a mostly white-collar city (Montpelier, Vt.).  So we were around lots of friends who had college educated parents but probably not the majority. A large number of my cousins also grew up their but they were not influenced the same way.

My parents never encouraged us to pursue further education.  But they demonstrated daily the values of hard work, honesty, integrity and treating others with respect and kindness. My dad worked for the city on a road crew until age 35 when he became a fireman. He worked to better himself by attending fire schools and taking night classes. Eventually he became chief and taught those same classes for extra money. Mom stayed home with nine kids but sold Avon, then started an upholstery business with her neighbor. She also took in children to care for during the day and later became head of the school board.

We were poor but not the poorest. We got free school lunch, food baskets at Christmas time, food stamps, etc. I received lots of financial aid for school. There were grants to take care of college expenses. I had to work summers and on campus plus borrow a small amount but the rest of my tuition and fees were covered.  I would not have attended college otherwise. There was no money and I would not have borrowed that much.

Mom and Dad were both very intelligent.  My siblings and I all inherited this and I am extremely grateful. My dad had one brother and three sisters that lived. Two of the girls were not very bright. They lived with us for years growing up and worked in the college cafeteria. The other sister I never knew well but she married a man who never worked and claimed disability. His brother married poorly also but held a good job as a welder/ assembler and 3 of their 5 kids were very strange. They all lived in the same city we did yet none of them went past high school.

So, again, how did we get so lucky? What factors play into this?

Most of my siblings were popular in school and well liked. This would not happen for less-well-off kids like us in many schools. Does privilege come into play here? Emotional intelligence?

I realize that being financial secure is not the only measure of success. I can certainly point to areas of my life such as my wife’s health that others are glad not to have to deal with. So is it all perspective?  Optimism? Am I really lucky? I feel that way so I guess it is so.

Namaste