Shar wrote in my diary a couple of entries back (and seeing as how she was too shy to link to her diary I’ll do it for her. Clicky-pops!) And she revealed what I’m like to speak to when I’m drunk.
So, whoever’s idea it was for her to write a guest entry in my diary, I want them caught and shot right now!
Oh, yeah. That would be me. Never mind then. Moving right along
I now have a landline! Yay!
I now have broadband! Yay!
Only one person can get online at a time ATM. Booo!
But we’re getting a wireless router! YAY!
And I have digital TV! Just after Film 4 goes free to view with a digibox! Double yay!
Seeing as how I feel a wee bit creative, I might get round to re-writing my script for my specialism tonight. (And yes, I know that I owe some of you stories.) Once I’ve done re-writing it, I will need people to proof read and critique the script for me. If you would be interested, leave me a note letting me know (with your email address if I don’t already have it). Thanks in advance.
And now I’ll leave you with some jokes (because I can):
Bloke comes into the kitchen. Takes a frog out of
his pocket, sets it down in front of his wife.
Wife: “What’s that?”
Bloke: “It’s a cock-sucking frog.”
Wife: “What do you expect me to do with that?”
Bloke: “Teach it to cook, and fuck off.”
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, “You
have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for
The cat thought for a minute and then said, “All my life I lived on a
farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy
pillow to sleep on.”
God said, “Say no more.” Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.
A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all
went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same
offer that He made to the cat.
The mice said, “Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats,
dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little
roller skates, we would not have to run again.”
God answered, “It is done.” All the mice had beautiful little roller
About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her
sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and
asked, “Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?”
The cat replied, “Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in
my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you
have been sending over are delicious!”
And because Shar likes it soooo much:
What do Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.