The night you said “I love you”

This might be my hardest entry yet.

As I write this, a flood of emotions rushes into me. Pain, sadness, anger, love.

That night we went to dinner at a local Thai Restaurant that you loved. A few days before, I told you that I needed to tell you something important. It wasn’t “I love you,” although I felt it very much.

We walked back to your apartment, and went to your backyard to play with Odie. It was a cold night, but I felt none of it. Your presence warmed me.

We sat down on the artificial turf in your backyard, and you asked me what I wanted to tell you. It was a childhood trauma that I needed to get off my chest, and I felt that in order for our relationship to progress, you needed to know about it. You were so loving and non-judgmental. You understood me.

We went inside to watch a TV show, I can’t remember which now because that doesn’t matter.

We were cuddling on your couch. I was wearing a black sweatshirt, and you a black hoodie. I still remember it vividly.

As I lay my head on your chest, you looked down at me and said it. Those three words.

Three words that meant everything to me.

Three words, that no man has ever said to me before.

Three words that changed my life forever.

I. Love. You.

I looked at you, speechless. I started crying. And then, I said it back. I love you. I love you so much. And I still do.

You hugged me tight. I didn’t want that moment to end. We embraced each other all night.

It was honestly the best night of my life. A night full of emotions and love.

We aren’t together anymore, but I never stopped loving you. I will never stop loving you.

To love.