It’s been so long

Dear diary

It’s been so long. I realise I have known them for 1 year, and I have left them for almost 6 months. Although, it’s like 6 months have passed by just like that, I can still remember everything with them so vividly. What I am glad now is at least I can let go of them now. Even though, I have been forcing myself to forget them, I am glad I am finally able to let go of them. Life is just like that…I already understand the meaning of fate, I already expected this to happen, I already predict that from the moment I left NLB, my bond, my ties, my fate with them has also ended the very same day, that was why I was so sad deep inside, because I already knew everything so well. All good things will end one day, and I will also let them end, let them go.

Although, I don’t like my current work now, I will still try my very best, I will not give up. I think I have already changed, I am sorry for changing into such a person, because my heart already died, there is no longer any person in this world that I cared for, or who cared for me the most, there is no longer any person who is the most important in my heart, there is no longer any meaning in my life, sad as it sounds, but that’s just my life, that’s just my world. I am just living for the sake of living. Though I am always in tremendous pain, I always staying deeper and deeper in a dark well, I will still live on like this, until the very last day.

I really miss the old me, I really miss the old world, the naive me, the me who don’t understand the real world, the real cruelty in this world, I really miss the me who don’t understand what life is all about…

falling snow